Page 37 of Letters From Avery
But my subconscious always seemed to settle on chiseled features, gray eyes, and a lopsided smile belonging to a certain mechanic I knew.
ME:Ohhhh you should def hold on to that mask! My head’s been spinning since last night.
I couldn’t help it; JR was just so hot. I never thought in a million years that someone who looked likethatwould ever even look twice at a scrawny guy like me.
And that kiss!
I shook off the memory of JR kissing me in the driveway of his garage.
JAMES:Oh??? Do tell, sweet boy…
“Stop fantasizing about him, Avery,” I scolded myself. “James is here now, and you’ve already betrayed him once with David.”
I still felt terrible about the way things had gone down with JR. He had fixed my car, for free, and he was so sweet and sexy. He hadn’t deserved to be led on. He especially didn't deserve to come face-to-face with David and all his overbearing bullshit… which brought me right back to the cookies.
ME:My mind keeps replaying your hand over my mouth, and those amazing eyes being the only thing I could seestaring back at me. Anyway, NAUGHTY, lol. I’m getting ready for work, stop trying to turn me on.
I looked up the garage’s prices online. A standard oil change ran about $49.99. So, I had the cash and the apology cookies I carefully placed in a baggie. I was determined to make it right. I’d just head down there and drop them off, with the cash, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about him thinking I was some kind of whore who led guys on to get them to fix his shitty car for free.
I don’t know that he actually felt that way, butI did.
Maybe it was selfish, but I needed some form of closure. My coconut oatmeal cookies and a $50 bill were gonna have to do the trick.
JAMES:You turn me on every time I think about your beautiful face. And the smell of your shampoo is intoxicating. I want to puddle a fistful of your hair between my fingers and inhale it through the screen.
ME:Lollllll, It's just Pantene. But I’m happy you like it.
JAMES:Pantene and you! ???
I could feel my stupid cheeks beginning to redden as I stared at the heart emoji he’d sent.
God, I’m pathetic.
ME:Okay, I really have to go! I’m gonna be late.
JAMES:Call me after you talk to your parents?
ME:Okay. ???
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose. My nerves were shot, and the prospect of telling David I was leaving him was becoming more terrifying andrealby the second.
I had a pretty good idea how he was going to react, and that’s why it was so important to get to my parents before David began to suspect there was anything going on. They were my only way out. I couldn’t afford to live on my own, despite how embarrassing it was going to be to have to crawl back to my childhood bedroom. Mooching off my parents heading into my mid-20s was a shitty prospect, but building a life with a man Iactuallyloved was going to be worth it…
Hopefully.
***
I flicked the butt of my cigarette in the parking lot and exhaled the last puff of smoke as I rushed through the diner’s main entrance seven minutes past shift start. I barely registered Nikki’s snort as I rushed past the hostess station.
I resisted the urge to flip her off as the diner was already bustling with early birds. Instead, I stuffed my backpack under the cash register and threw on my apron.
“How was everything?” I asked on autopilot as Icashed out a regular.
“Wonderful as usual, Avery. Thank you.”
I smiled and handed the older woman her change as Nikki joined me at the register to ring up an order. “You know, in all the years we’ve worked here together, I don’t think I can remember a single time you’ve been late.”
“There’s a reason for that. I fucking hate being late. It gives me anxiety.”
