Page 27 of Letters From Avery
The fucking rat.
Had he put his hands on Avery before? Was that a normal thing? Was that why Avery was so submissive and docile—nervous around men that were bigger than him?
I was gripping the steering wheel so hard my fingers were beginning to cramp, and my knuckles were ghost-white. I rolled the windows down to let the cold air swirl around me. I was sweating like I’d just finished a workout. I had no fucking clue how this couldbe happening.
If he had just waited for me… I would never harm him or scream at him. I’d rather open a fucking vein than ever scare or intimidate him.
I pulled up to the house, and, after I had calmed myself down enough to go inside, I opened the front door. Jenna and Lindsey were sitting on the couch watching TV as Jenna scrolled on her phone.
“Hi, Uncle JR,” Lindsey sing-songed as I walked in the door.
“Hey there,” I said back, smiling and giving her a wave.
“Wanna watch PAW Patrol with us?”
“Oh, that sounds like so much fun, but I’m gonna go take a shower and change. Maybe later?”
She nodded and averted her focus back to the TV, where cartoon dogs were cavorting in Technicolor sunshine.
I grabbed clean clothes and headed into the bathroom. I made quick work of undressing and turned the spray on as hot as it would go. I stepped in and let the stream hit my shoulder and run down my arm. It was sore and starting to throb.
David had been a lot more sturdy than I anticipated. Especially with the bulletproof vest and all his gear. I chuckled as I remembered him flying through the air and slamming down onto the pavement.
Bastard’s lucky he only got a body slam. I shoulda knocked his ass out cold to begin with.
Avery looked so scared.
My hands balled into fists again, the throbbing in my shoulder increasing with the tension. “How could you be with a man like that, Avery?” I whispered to no one.
Chapter Eight
Avery
Iwasn’t sure what I was expecting when I got out of work, but seeing JR leaned up against the side of my car with his arms crossed over his chest, wasn’t it.
Shit.
“Hey, I’m sorry about all that earlier,” I said by way of greeting, my voice audibly tremoring.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he replied. He sounded soothing, like he was talking to a wounded animal, but he kept his gaze lowered on the pavement in front of him.
I sighed and began to apologize for leading him on, but he spoke before I had the chance. “Are you engaged to him?”
I didn’t immediately respond, racking my brain for the best thing to say. Yes, I was engaged to David, Technically. We'd just been perpetually engaged for the last 20 months with no forward motion. Every time the subject of wedding planning came up, I always punted.There’s no need to rush. We have the rest of our lives.Changing the subject. Moving the goalposts.
“I’m sorry if I led you on, but I’m in love with someone else,” I said, dumping it all out on the proverbial table. “I think you’re a great guy, but I just… I can’t dothis.”
If I was going to throw my life away by leaving David and risk being completely ostracized from my family and community, it wasn't going to be with some rando. Not even if he was a good flirt (and a hell of a kisser). It would only be for James.
My weird attraction to JR was something I wasn’t able to explain, but it scared the shit out of me. I needed to put a stop to it now. David wasn’t the actual obstacle between us. He simply wasn’t the one.
JR was still and silent for a good 10 seconds. I was starting to think maybe I hadn't actually said the words aloud when he pushed off the side of my car and turned his face away from me. “You deserve better, " he said, and then he was gone.
I got into my car and cranked the heater. I turned the radio off and sat there listening to the soft squeak of the old belts as I tried to figure out why it felt like my heart was breaking. I blinked a few times and shook my head as I told myself I was being ridiculous. I’d only known JR for a few days. A little over a week. Yeah, he’d been really sweet to me, and his kiss wasfucking incredible.I’m talking break-the-fairytale-curse, get-you-pregnant incredible.
But he wasn’t James, and I needed to stay away from him. Today wasn’t the first time David had put his hands on me, and I doubted it would be the last. He’d never actually hit me or thrown a punch, but there have been times when he got…handsy,so to speak. I had no doubt that his violence would escalate. It always did in these situations. David was obviously intimidated by JR, and that would only bring more problems for both of us. He was a detective now, and there was no telling what fucked up ways he could make JR suffer. And for what? A little crush? A free oil change?
I huffed out a breath and put the car into reverse, catching a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror.
