Page 29 of Reformation
“Because …” Garrett stared hungrily at the image of his husband. “Because it’s not enough. It’s not real, and I don’t need it to handle things right now.”
Jonah shrugged sympathetically. “Are you sure about that? Maybe if Miles was still here, or Claudia and the girls, you’d have the support you need without me, but they’re all gone. Everybody has left you, and they didn’t want to, you know they didn’t, but that doesn’t change the fact that they have. So why begrudge yourself a simple coping mechanism?”
“Cody wanted to leave me.” Garrett’s eyes hurt when he said it, and he squeezed them shut. “He chose to go. No one made him do it.”
“His love for me made him do it. That doesn’t mean he loves you less, just that he was less worried about you.”
“He didn’t trust me to have a plan.”
“He didn’t want to sit idle while you did everything yourself,” Jonah corrected. “Like you almost always do. People need to feel useful, babe. Cody especially.”
“I don’t …” Garrett sighed. “I don’t know how to help him. He’s on a Drifter ship, which is literally one of the only places in the universe that my reach doesn’t extend to. He’s withJack, and we know what a dangerous turn of events that is. He’s got Ten, but who’s to say they’re even going to go to Pandora? Why not steal him and keep him with them forever? You know Jack wants him.”
Jonah scoffed. “Jack doesn’t know what he wants.”
“Yes he does, he’s not subtle about it. He wants Cody, he wants you, and he wantsmeout of the picture.”
“But as long as the rest of us don’t want that, then he’s got no leg to stand on, darlin’.” Jonah smiled gently at him. “I’m yours. For life. For more than that.”
“Life could be a long time,” Garrett mused. “Marriages are more about assets than emotions these days. Why tie yourself down when we live so long?”
“Because I want to be tied. Bedroom metaphors aside, you know I do. And I know that you do too. You want something permanent, you always have.” Jonah slid a hand across the table toward Garrett—not close enough to touch and ruin the illusion, but close enough to see the tiny mole on the back of his left index finger, right at the base. Close enough to see the smooth veins winding beneath the surface of the skin, close enough to see the jagged clip on the edge of his right thumbnail, where Jonah had probably cracked it while doing maintenance on his ship.
They had tools for that, damn it, he didn’t need to mark himself up just to get the job done.
“I know,” Jonah said. “But I like getting my hands dirty every once in a while.”
“Is anything you say not laced with innuendo?”
“Only you can answer that question, Gare.”
Garrett blinked at his husband tiredly and said, out of nowhere, “I miss Robbie and Wyl.”
Jonah nodded. “I know you do.”
“I wish they were here. They would have stayed with me.”
“Probably. But they’re not here, and they ain’t comin’ back any time soon. You’ll have to manage without them.”
“Ican, I just don’t want to.”
“I know, sweetheart.”
Garrett chuckled. “You’re getting soft if you’re calling me ‘sweetheart’ outside of bed.”
Jonah shrugged. “It’s a special endearment. Sometimes something special is called for.”
Garrett opened his mouth to reply, but then his comm started to ping. Who was it, Liang? No, the first return caller was Berengaria. Well, not the easiest to deal with, but her role was the simplest. He activated the call. “Ms. Alexander.”
“Mr. Helms. Your message said it was urgent.”
“It is.” Garrett rubbed his eyes for a moment, then sat up in his chair. When he looked, the seat across from him was empty.
He sighed. “Let’s talk about your family holdings.”
Chapter sixteen
Cody
