Page 44 of Accidental Blood Lust
“That’s enough,” Roman rasps, and his grip on Loch’s hair tightens.
Loch doesn’t stop feeding though. That’s enough to jolt me out of my dazed moment of horny confusion. I lean forward, put my hands on his back, and send a soothing flow of magic through him to relax him. It seems to work, because he eases up enough that Roman is able to pull him off, and I guide him back down onto his pillow.
The glow in his eyes is already less noticeable, but they’re still unfocused and his pupils are still dilated. He has a droplet of Roman’s blood clinging to his bottom lip, and maybe it shoulddisgust me, but it doesn’t. This might be the last time I touch Loch at all, maybe that’s why I use my thumb to catch the stray smear of blood and press it between his lips for him. His hot tongue laps at my fingertip and then he sucks it for a minute, his eyelids starting to droop with exhaustion.
He grabs my wrist when I pull my thumb out from between his lips.
“I love you, Jare. Beautiful mage, my magic man,” he murmurs. “I asked the fae to fix me, but he was bad, he just wanted to hurt me.” He sniffles and brings my hand to the side of his face, nuzzling it like I’m some kind of security blanket. “I just wanted you to love me again.”
“Shh, I know.” I lean over him and brush a kiss to his forehead, cool and smooth like granite now that he’s a vampire. “Get some sleep, okay?”
“Stay?”
“I’ll stay,” I promise, and he finally lets go of my hand and closes his eyes.
I crawl off the bed slowly, careful not to jostle it too much. Now that Loch is taken care of and all the immediate danger is over, every frayed string that’s been holding me together snaps. I bury my face in my hands, and I don’t even bother trying to fight the sobs that rack my body.
Roman’s arms wrap around me from behind, strong and familiar, and that only makes me cry harder. How am I supposed to let them go?
“Come here,” he murmurs, and he nudges me to move. I have no clue where we’re going, and I don’t really care, so I just let him steer me without bothering to look.
I hear a door open and close, and then Roman gently pries my hands off of my face. We’re in Lochlan’s bathroom. He grabs a clean washcloth off of a shelf next to the large shower,dampens it under the tap, then brings it to my face to wipe away the tears and snot.
“Stop it,” I snap, batting his hand away.
“Stop what?” He frowns and lets me take the cloth from him so I can clean myself up.
“Stop being nice to me.” The cloth isn’t enough, so I lean over the sink and splash some water onto my face. I growl under my breath—a much less intimidating growl than Roman can manage, for the record—when a dry towel is thrust into my hand while my face is still dripping wet. “You have a mate now. He’s the one you should be taking care of, not me.”
I finish patting my skin dry and turn back to face Roman. With my tears dried up, I’m left with rage instead. Rage at the unfairness of this whole thing, at Roman for daring to be fated to Loch, even though part of me knows it was never up to them, and rage at myself for holding on to the hope for so long that maybe one day Roman would see how silly he was to wait for a fated mate and realize our love could be enough.
He doesn’t say anything.
“That’s what this is, right? Lochlan is your fated mate?”
“Yes.”
I was wrong; the tears haven’t completely dried up. A fresh wave of them streams down my face and I do the only thing I can think to do with all of these confusing, painful feelings inside me. I shove Roman right in the chest. He doesn’t budge, of course. So, I do it again. And again, crying harder each time I push him, and he stays firmly in place. Fuck, it’s such a perfect goddamn allegory for our entire relationship.
“Jareth, listen to me.” He cups my face in his large hands and holds my gaze with a serious look in his dark eyes. “I thought that when I found my fated mate, all the feelings I have for you would change.”
I let out a quiet whimper that bubbles up into another full-on sob.
“No, baby, listen,” he says again. “Everyone always told me that when you find your fated mate, you don’t even want to look at anyone else. I didn’t think I could ever stop caring about you, but I thought it meant I wouldn’t want to kiss you anymore, that I wouldn’t ache to touch you every time I got near you, that I would stop wanting to fill you with my knot and listen to you moan my name for hours.”
Heat rushes through me and the shock of what he’s saying is enough to stop my tears in their tracks.
“So, what? You’re going to ignore the fated mate bond you’ve spent your whole life waiting for?” I scoff.
“I don’t think I can,” he says gruffly, and his eyes flash yellow and wolfy for a brief moment, confirming that there’s no way his wolf would ever allow that to happen.
“Then we’re out of fucking options, Rome. Just let me go, okay? I’ll go home, you’ll stay and take care of Loch, and eventually the feelings will fade. You won’t think of me anymore, and I’ll find a way to be happy just knowing that the two of you are happy.”
“Ican’t.”
He slams his mouth into mine, and I know I should tell him to stop, but I can’t. It’s selfish, but I need just a minute of comfort, of pretending like my world isn’t shattering. It’s rough and desperate, all tongues and biting teeth, our mouths opting for feral chaos instead of a consistent, steady rhythm. We take turns licking into each other’s mouths, swallowing each other’s moans, and panting briefly into the space between our mouths before diving in all over again.
My cock aches and my skin crackles with an overflow of magic.
