Page 59 of Retribution
Killian removes his pants and boxers before getting into bed beside me and immediately pulling me on top of him. Lifting my head, I stare into his eyes and allow myself to feel everything this man has become to me.
Love.
Dominant, yet protective.
Safe.
The man who nearly took everything from me has turned himself into my safety net. Every touch is calming as he runs his fingers through my hair, his eyes filled with adoration I don’t deserve.
“There’s something wrong with me,” I admit while closing my eyes shut tight.
Flipping us over so I’m on my back, he growls, the sound rumbling from his chest into mine.
“Eyes on me, Killer. We don’t hide from one another.”
Reluctantly, I flutter my eyes open and stare into his dark gaze as my heart races.
“What do you mean there’s something wrong with you?”
I grip his biceps, needing the comfort of him while confessing the truth.
“I was beaten so badly. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to escape it, and now I crave it.”
I laugh bitterly as he continues staring into my eyes with concern.
“The very thing I kill my family for doing to me, I beg you for. How fucked up is that, Killian?”
He presses his hand to my face and stares at me, his eyes watering and filled with emotion.
“I won’t pretend to understand what you went through or the effects it still has on you today. There is NOTHING wrong with you. Jesus baby, you’re fucking perfect.”
Sighing softly, he kisses my forehead.
“I don’t know why you like to be hit, but I do know there’s a vast difference between what they did to you and what I do.Consent.You know if you speak one word it immediately stops. When we are together, you are in control. Some people use pain to deal with trauma. As long as we give you that safely, there isn’t a problem.”
He presses a row of kisses along my jaw.
“Don’t question why things feel good, baby. Just take it and let us soothe your pain.”
I run my fingers into the back of his hair and pull him closer.
“Who soothes your pain?”
Placing his palm against the side of my neck, he presses his thumb over my bottom lip.
“You do.”
His breath skates over my lips as he groans softly.
“I’m waiting for you to tell me you’re ready. I want to kiss you, but more than that, I want to be whatever you need. If that means not kissing you, I won’t.”
I dig my nails into the back of his scalp until he groans.
“I have a safe word. If I need it, I’ll use it. Now, can we go back to you not seeking permission? Our dynamic is different. Iwant you to hurt me—use me. You brought a knife in here for a reason. Show me what you intended to do with it.”
“Fuuuck.” He groans as he wraps his hand around my throat, his eyes, filled with heat, stare into mine, his control visibly snapping away.
When he kisses me, it’s violent. Our teeth clash as he pulls my hair, and I sink my teeth into his bottom lip before he does the same to mine.
