Page 51 of Soft
We stayed like that awhile, neither of us saying much. Paxton hummed softly as his fingers stroked along my shoulder. It added to the comfort of it all.
I wanted every night to be like this. Wanted him to hold me like I was the most precious person in his world.
The lamp was on in the corner, casting everything in the warm glow of the new bulb he’d bought for me. He hadn’t stopped at adjusting things for me at the office. And though others might have seen it as a touch invasive, I didn’t mind.
Wells was soft under my chin. Paxton was warm against my side. I was in paradise.
"Does this feel okay?" he asked after a while.
"It fweels wike a dream. I seended myself here, on the comfy with my Daddy to lay on a whole bunches."
"Yeah?" He sounded like he was smiling.
"I used to go to playroom and dwraw it. Dwraw you.” I paused, working out the words that felt too big. "I be small. Daddy like it. He no think silly."
He shivered, then put his mouth against the side of my head.
"I want to be that. If you'll let me, baby. It would be a dream come true for me too."
I turned my face to his chest and took a big sniff. His scent made my bones melt.
"Yes, please, Daddy." I felt him go very still beside me.
"Grizzly." His voice was really, really deep. Like a big growl. "I need you to know that I’ve been trying to be patient, baby. It’s hard as hell given how tempting you are. But I’m so glad I waited, because this—" He stopped. I could feel his breath slow down, like he needed a minute. "You trusting me tonight is the best thing to ever happen to me. Better than baseball and getting signed. Better than moving to Bellport."
“Gwood!" I clapped happily.
He did a big laugh. It moved through his chest, shaking me too. I closed my eyes, happy I made Daddy happy.
We went quiet again after that. I closed my eyes, thinking of the next step. I needed to tell him what I wanted. To make it official.
“Paxi,” I whispered.
"Mmmm?"
"I want you be Daddy. I want whole thing you."
He froze for long enough that I began to worry he’d changed his mind. But then he moved. His hand slid up my shoulder and to the back of my neck, grip firm as he tugged for me to tilt my face up.
"You've got me, baby. Every part. For as long as you want me." He pressed his lips to my forehead. "My boy."
I sighed at the two words. They felt so right. God, I needed to get myself together or I’d start bawling. How was this real? How did I have someone so perfect wanting all of me?
Daddy started humming again, this time in a tune that was much brighter than the first. It let me know how happy he was without us needing to speak.
I drifted in and out of consciousness as we sat there. My Little mind was imaging all these ideas of the future—playdates, shopping trips for stuffies and blankies, and letting him take care of everything.
The room turned dark as more time passed. I wasn’t worried about it at all. Daddy would tell me when we had to move. He’d tell me when to eat and, hopefully, even tell me when I needed to go to bed.
When he did speak, he didn’t say any of those things at all. Instead, he quietly said, “I’m overwhelmed.”
"Gwood or bad?"
"Good, baby. Nothing about us is bad. It’s just… I kept telling myself to be patient, and now you're here, and I… I'm not sure I have words for how damn happy I am. I can’t seem to contain my emotions."
"Don’t, Daddy. I wike happy," I offered.
He groaned. "Yeah, baby? My boy likes knowing how happy Daddy is?"
