Page 21 of Open Water
"Alex."
"I'm serious. You didn't sign up for any of this. The Harrington family drama, the anonymous texts, the—"
"Alex." I moved next to him on the bed. "You didn't drag me into anything. I kissed you back. I kissed you back and I'd do it again."
His eyes were bright.
"This isn't your fault," I said. "Marcus being a bigot isn't your fault. Your father being — whatever your father is — isn't your fault. You don't have to apologize."
He was quiet. His knee pressed against mine.
"We'll deal with Marcus," I said. "Together"
"Okay."
"Alright, then it's settled."
The tension in his shoulders eased a little bit.
"You said something on the bench this morning," he said. "About not being ready."
"Yeah."
"I want to understand. Not to push. Just — what are you actually afraid of?"
I looked at my hands. The calluses from the erg handle. The roughness that never went away.
"It's not the scholarship," I said. "I know they're not going to kick me out for being bi."
"Then what?"
"It's the future." I tried to find the words. "Like a scout could see me row. Write down my name. But then by time it gets to a program director, someone finds out. They don't like it. The door just… doesn't open. And nobody ever tells me why."
Alex was listening.
"I'm afraid of getting passed over. Being the guy with great splits who somehow never gets picked for the development camp. Never gets the call from the national program. Andeveryone just kind of shrugs and says it's competitive, there were a lot of good candidates." I swallowed. "And I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if it as because I liked guys."
"You're not going to get passed over," Alex said.
"You don't know that."
"What did you pull today?"
"Six twenty two."
"You're amazing Liam." I know scouts watched you at the Charles and told Eldridge you had the best catch-to-drive ratio in the field. I know that Hale just named you the guy coordinating winter training." He put his hand on my thigh. "They'd be idiots to pass you over."
"Idiots exist, Alex."
"Then we'll deal with the idiots too."
Something about the way he saidwe.Not sympathetically. Matter-of-factly. Like the idiots were just another item on a list he was working through.
"Liam. Look at me."
I looked at him.
"I'm going to handle Marcus. I'm going to talk to him and I'm going to end this. And whatever my father is planning… I'll deal with it. That's my side of the river." His hand moved from my thigh to my face. Thumb against my cheek. "Your side of the river is rowing. Being the best. Getting the call. And I'm going to make sure nobody gets in the way of that."
