Page 56 of Open Water
The room was quiet.
"I need time," I said. "I believe you. I think. Most of me believes you. But there's a part that doesn't trust anyone and I can't shut it off."
A hurt look flashed across his face and I hated it. I hate that my lack of trust hurt him. It was just a fucked up situation but I had to protect myself.
"Okay. Just give me the weekend. I'm going to Vermont with Ethan for this film thing. And when I get back, I'll have a plan."
"Alright. That's fine."
I didn't feel fine but what was I supposed to do, he was trying. I stood up and walked to the door and just as I was about to open it I felt his hand on my shoulder. Warmth trickled down mybody from the place he touched me. And my shoulder relaxed. I turned to him.
His eyes on me.
"I know you don't trust me right now. But can I kiss you before I go?"
I watched him unsure what to do but my body knew. I leaned towards him and he stepped forward.
Our lips touched and the same warmth spread from my lips down my body setting whatever tension I'd been feeling my chest. We pulled back and I opened my eyes, our faces still close, and his eyes bright.
"I care about you Liam. I'm not going to leave. I care too much."
I shut my eyes and leaned my forehead against his.
"You better fucking not."
We spent another moment touching, I hoped it wasn't our last, then I stepped back.
"Have a good trip. Be safe."
I couldn't tell him how much I cared about him. About how scared I was he'd leave. About all the feelings that were constantly swarming around in my heart. No, not like this.
I turned and opened the door and left his dorm. Down the stairs. Across the quad. Onto the footbridge.
Halfway across I stopped.
My hands were shaking. He'd been choosing me since the lake but was always being pulled away from me by his world of money.
Do you believe him?
Most of me does.
And the rest?
The rest was the kid at the window. Watching headlights pull away. Learning early that people who say they'll stay don't always stay.
He might fold again. His father might call and the scared fifteen-year-old might say okay and you'll be standing on this bridge alone.
Or he might walk through the door.
I couldn't know. That was the whole problem with trusting someone, you had to do it before you had proof.
Chapter 12: Alex
Ethan drove my car the way he did everything, with an ease that suggested he'd been doing it his whole life and a recklessness that suggested he didn't care if the whole thing ended in flames.
"Your check engine light is on," he said.
"It's been on for a month now."
