Page 69 of Alpha's Rejected Warrior
“That’s not what I said.” Thea’s expression softens a fraction, but concern remains etched in every line of her face.
“It’s what you meant.” I press my fingers against my eyes. “You know, for a second, I actually let myself believe that maybe I could have a future here with her. That what we had—” I stop, shaking my head. “Anyway, she’s made it apparent that we have no future. At least, not together. And for me, personally, maybe there’s no future at all.”
“Ethan—”
“No, I’m an idiot to think someone like her could ever truly want someone like me,” I continue. The words keep tumbling out before I can stop them. “I mean, look at her. She’s a gorgeous warrior who leads a fuckingarmy of werewolves. And I’m...what? A guy who can pour coffee and remember people’s names?”
“Stop. You’re much more than that.” Thea reaches over and places her hand on my arm. “You know, Rhiannon doesn’t take intimacy lightly. If she let something happen between you two, youmustmean something to her.”
“I want to believe that, but—”
“She’s under a ton of pressure right now,” she continues. “With the summit, the investigation into Jayme, the attacks happening within our walls, on her watch — she’s drowning in responsibility. Maybe the timing just isn’t right.”
“Or, she finally realized that I really am just a useless human despite all this ‘Truth Seer’ bullshit everyone keeps throwing around.”
“Ethan.” Thea’s voice carries that no-nonsense tone I remember from our diner days. “Now you’re just spiraling.”
“Am I?” I meet her gaze, letting her see the raw hurt I’ve been carrying. “I couldn’t stop my father from beating the shit out of my mother. I couldn’t save you from getting kidnapped, or find you when you disappeared. And now, Rhiannon got hurt trying to protect my worthless ass because I can’t defend myself.”
“Come on. . .”
All of it slams into me like a freight train. “Everyone here can fend for themselves, whether it’s through super strength, heightened smell, or rapid healing. The lightbulb twins are fucking stick figures, but Haron was still able to use her connection to magic to protect herself. They were made to be here.Youbelong here, too, even if you grew up in the Outer Lands like me. I just take up space and expect people to risk their lives for me.”
Thea is quiet for a long moment, her idle fingers tapping in succession over her belly. When she finally speaks, her voice is soft. “Lady Gemma once told me that doing something with bravery doesn’t mean you know you’ll succeed. Bravery is choosing to take action because it is too important to do nothing.”
She places her hand over mine and squeezes it. “You chose to keep maintaining my apartment after I disappeared. You chose to break out of the dungeons to find me. You chose to train withthe guards in order to earn your place at Kortan. You chose to help Jayme when everyone else was ready to sacrifice him.”
“And look how that’s turning out.”
“It’s not over yet,” Thea says simply. “Jayme still has a chance. You’re still here, fighting for people you care about, even when you feel lost. Hell, Ethan, my plants are still alive!” She gestures at the two potted plants that I had been watering in her apartment.
Part of me wants to accept her pep talk, but reality has sunk its claws in too deep. “I just want to go home, Thea. It might be fucking boring there, but at least I won’t get anyone killed.”
Thea’s expression shifts, and I can see the wheels turning behind those bright blue eyes. That knowing tilt of her head is back.
“You know what I think?” she says, her voice gentle, but direct. “I think you want to go home because Rhiannon broke your heart, not because of all this other stuff you’re telling me.”
My chest tightens. “That’s not—”
“I think it is.” The interruption comes with surprising firmness. “All this talk about being useless and getting people hurt? That’s just you trying to rationalize why you’re running away, because leaving is easier than facing the fact that you’re in love with someone who probably feels just as helpless as you do right now.”
My protest dies on my tongue before it forms. Because she’s right, and we both know it.
When I don’t respond, she finally sighs. “Fine, you want to go home. But do me a favor? Stay until the summit is over.”
“Why?”
“Because I want you here.” Her honesty catches me off guard. “Not because you’re a lie detector or my assistant or whatever role someone else wants to assign you. Because you’re my friend, and the closest thing I’ll ever have to a brother. Having you inKortan makes me feel less alone in all this craziness. Besides, you never gave up on me, even when I vanished without a trace. The least I owe you is a little quality time.”
I can only imagine how scared she must be in this crisis, as a new ruler carrying a new life. The guilt of abandoning her twists in my stomach. “Thea...”
“Please? Treaty or no treaty, it’s just a few more days. And if you still want to leave after the summit ends, I’ll help you.” Our eyes lock, and I can see that she means it. “I’ll make sure Akila gets you home safely. I promise.”
A slow nod is all I can manage. How could I possibly refuse a pregnant woman who just called me family? “Fine. I’ll stay until the summit ends.”
“Thank you, Ethan.” Her warm arms wrap around me, her rounded belly between us, making a proper hug impossible. It’s a little awkward, which somehow makes it even more endearing. “This means the world to me.”
Pulling back from Thea’s embrace, I force a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “Of course.”
