Page 27 of Bitter Truth
I have no idea what that something might be, or how I could leverage it in my favor, but I have to look for it all the same, because if it’s there, I’ll find it. For most of my fifteen years with the FBI, that’s what I did—search for patterns. And I excelled at it. Now, I need to use those skills to help myself.
Because I have to believe that it was the attempt on my life that’s caused the shift between me and Jake, and not anything to do with his mother. The issue is, I no longer have access to the databases I need to find this information out on my own, which means I really need to convince Marla to help me.
“Cassidy,” Director Jacobson’s voice is gentle. I brace myself for what’s coming next, knowing I won’t like it. “Maybe you should leave this for the Miami field office to handle. Come back up here for a little while. Just until things calm down.”
How can I explain that that’s not an option withoutsounding crazy? That there’s a twisting sensation in my gut telling me that if I don’t handle this myself—and quickly—that I could lose what I hold most dear? How could she possibly understand, when I don’t myself?
“I… wish I could, Marla.”
I hold my breath, waiting for her to counter with the question: why can’t I? But thankfully, it doesn’t come. She knows me. Which is why I should have anticipated the question shedoesask.
“Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
Exhaling heavily, I fill my lungs with fresh air. I don’t want to lie to her, but I can’t share the truth.
“Let me rephrase that. On a scale of one to ten, how deadly is this secret you’re keeping?”
I consider the answer. While the possibility of losing Jake might feel like the end of the world, in reality, I know I’d survive it. But the people who caused the fracture between us? I’m not so sure what their fate would be.
“To me? Zero.”
“Do I want to know who’s at risk?”
“No.”
There’s a moment of prolonged silence before she says, “You’re probably right. But can you do me one favor?”
“What’s that?”
“Give me some advance warning if you’re going to need bail money, okay?”
She says it with a laugh, but we both know she’s serious.
“I’ll try.”
“That’s all I can ask. I’ll bring Mallory in on this and see what we can find out for you.”
I thank her, but as the call ends, I find myself notfeeling better, but worse. Like I’ve just dragged one more person into the undertow with me. And as I turn off the main road onto the narrow dirt lane leading into the swamp, I know I’m about to get sucked in even deeper.
Because while there’s a difference between making a deal with a devil and simply talking to one, I’m not so sure that Jake would see it. Not where this particular devil is concerned. And to be completely honest, I’m not so sure I see that difference, either.
CHAPTER 15
It’s not too late to change my mind. To turn around. To escape. But the problem with that is, where is there to go? If I run away from this particular hell, I’d just be running toward another. At least here I know what to expect.
Still, adrenaline hums beneath my skin as I exit my vehicle. My legs feel shaky as I climb the front stairs. The last time I found myself on this doorstep, I was looking for a killer. Now? I find myself even more afraid of what I might discover inside.
That doesn’t stop me from raising my hand. Making a fist. Knocking. Breathing a sigh equal parts dread and relief as the fiberglass stops rattling beneath my knuckles when it opens. And as it does, the storm breaks.
A flash of lightning streaks the sky, morphing the face before me into a grotesque mask of shadow and light. A strong hand grasps me by the forearm, yanking me inside. I stumble over the threshold into the darkened interior of the trailer.
“You all right? Hold on, I’ll get you a towel.”
I stay where I am until the man returns a moment later. Instead of handing me the towel, he drapes it around my shoulders with an odd sort of tenderness. Passes me another one, gesturing to my hair.
When I make no move to dry myself off, instead staring numbly at the dry fabric in my hand as if I’ve forgotten its use, he frowns. Cups a hand around my elbow and gently guides me toward the kitchen.
“Come on. Let’s get you a drink to warm you up.”
