Page 22 of My Duke, The Stranger
Was it so wrong that Isolde almost looked forward to spending time with Cassian? If this was his true self, if he stayed this way, then she wondered what these next few days might bring. His words… how he looked at her… it was unlike anything she had felt before.
How is this the same man?
Of course, these thoughts only made her feel more rotten. She was committed now, and she had no choice but to do as she had promised and play the role that she had trapped herself in. But what would come next? At what point would her secret be revealed? And how would Cassian react?
All good questions, for which she had no answers.
As things stood, Isolde’s only option was to go along with it all and pretend that she was not walking down a path that was sure to lead to her doom.
Eight
“Istill cannot believe that all of this belongs to me,” Cassian said as he looked about the garden. “And this home… these lands.” He shook his head. “How can one man ever need so much?”
Isolde watched Cassian curiously, similarly to the way she had been doing all morning. He was so innocent in the way he acted, and so vocal when it came to speaking his fears and his thoughts. He did not pretend to be strong and confident. He did not bother with false charm or arrogance. He was real… totally unguarded and honest in all things.
“It is not about what one needs,” Isolde said. “From my experience, it has more to do with showing others what you are able to afford so that they might respect you.”
“Respect me?” he frowned. “Why would owning so much be worthy of respect?”
“Why should it not be?”
“I would have thought…” He clicked his tongue in consideration. “Is not the type of man I am more important? Is that not how one earns respect?”
“It can be…”
He stopped short beside her. Isolde did not notice at first and she walked a few steps ahead before realizing that she was alone. She turned and then frowned when she saw the worry on Cassian’s face.
“Is something the matter?”
“I might not remember who I am, Isolde, but that does not mean I am blind to it. I have seen the way that the staff treats me, just as I have noticed that such treatment is not nearly so enthusiastic or…” He grimaced. “I cannot escape the feeling that the staff fears me. That they hate me.”
“Cassian…” She had no idea what to say.
“What sort of man was I?” he asked her. “Before the accident. Mr. Pemberton assures me that I was well liked and…” He laughed and shook his head. “That I was respected by all who knew me. But I sense that if I asked him when my wings would grow in, he would tell me any day now.”
Isolde looked away awkwardly, as she knew where this was going.
“My memories are sure to return soon.” Slowly, he walked to her. His voice was low, and she heard the worry crack through it. “When they do, a part of me fears what I will learn about myself. Was I kind? Was I loved? Or was I the type to instill fear in others, as if that was the only way to gain respect?” He scoffed. “As if such a thing is so important.”
“You were… You were…” Her voice trembled.
“Clearly, it could not have been all bad.” He took her by the hand. “Otherwise, I doubt one as pure and sweet as you would have fallen in love with me.” He brought her hand to his chest. “Tell me I am wrong in this, Isolde. That my fears are misplaced. Tell me I was not the worst of men and that the only reason you are with me is not because you feared saying no.”
Just when I thought things could not get any worse…
Isolde forced herself to look into Cassian’s eyes. They sparkled in the morning sun, brimming with fear, like a child who had wandered too far from his family and had no idea where they had gone. More importantly, the look in his eyes made him appear human in ways she had never imagined possible.
As she met his eyes, as she felt his beating heart, she could not see the man he used to be anymore. Maybe he would return one day? But until that day came, Isolde reasoned that there wasno need to tell him so. And maybe…what if the accident has changed him? What if this is who he now is?
“The servants are just nervous about your condition,” she forced herself to say. “And you are right. I…” Her stomach twisted with guilt. “I would not be here, were it not for the type of man you are. Kind. Gentle. The type who…” She forced soft laughter. “Who does not need a large home to prove himself.”
“Truly?”
“You are not wicked or evil, Cassian,” she assured him, almost believing it. “Now, put those thoughts out of your head. Today is too lovely to waste on such awful things.”
He smiled and it was as honest a smile as she had ever seen. “How did I get so lucky to meet you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Lucky? I do not know if I would use that word.”
