Page 40 of The Shrouded Queen
I smiled slightly against his skin. “You haven’t slept, either.”
“I’ll be fine.” Still hugging me, he helped me up to my feet.
Perhaps it was a good thing I couldn’t reach Shaya. If he saw me now, unable to make it to the bed not five feet away because of something as trivial asfear, he’d probably disown me.
The thought sent ice through my veins.
Was that what this silence was? Had he disowned me? Why? What could I have done that was so unforgivable he wouldn’tspeakto me before abandoning me?
Fear turned over my stomach.
Who was the Gods-Chosen without the god that had chosen her?
SIXTEENSAMIRA
My cabin became a chamber of echoes. Screams as guards were ripped apart, the snap of a neck, the jeering of a crowd. They surrounded me. I heard the horrific sounds again and again, feeling as if I were slowly going mad. I was trapped in a reverberating cave of torment.
A shadow fell over me, and I flinched.
Keir lowered himself into a crouch in front of me. Those searing yellow eyes level with my own where I was curled up beside the fire. I hadn’t realized it was night until then. The corners of the room were dark, save for this one patch before the hearth. Hours had gone by since I’d witnessed a man’s senseless murder, yet it felt like mere moments.
I tightened my arms around my knees and ducked my head. “Please leave.” My voice was hoarse but not weak, thank the gods.
Keir’s clothes shifted. Something clinked on the floor beside me. Against my better judgment, I lifted my head.
A tankard of kefir.
“Not thirsty,” I said.
“It’s not for thirst.” He jerked his chin toward it. “Go on. It’ll make you feel better.”
I made no move for it.
Keir stared at me a beat longer, and some reckless, rebelliouscorner of my brain that had forgotten sixteen years of conditioning refused to be the first to look away this time. I wanted him to see the blame, the contempt, the devastation. Maybe the Kaldfolk felt no remorse for murder, but they should.Heshould. I looked into the suns of his eyes, let them burn into me, and sent fire right back.
He looked away.
Satisfaction momentarily outshone my despair.
Keir scrubbed a hand over his cheek. “I thought you went on raids with the Khada Guard,” he said to the wall. “I thought you’d be used to violence. I didn’t think it would…” I waited for him to finish the sentence, but he didn’t. Just continued to look everywhere but me.
“I’ve seen a lot of violence,” I said. “Doesn’t mean I’m used to it.”
He nodded. Slowly, his gaze dragged back to mine. His brows were pinched as he studied me. As if a particularly difficult question had been posed to him. His nostrils flared slightly. “You smell so sad,” he murmured, so quietly I wasn’t entirely sure I was meant to hear it.
My throat closed up. This time, I was the one to drop my eyes.
Iwassad. Devastatingly so. I hadn’t known Hedin, but I had known Tabia and Chef Nena and Nadia. Any of them could have been ended just as brutally as he had been. Maybe the Kaldfolk had laughed as they’d done it. They’d definitely laugh when they snapped my neck.
They would laugh, and no one would cry. My queen had given me uptodie. Not even she would mourn for me. No one would care. And the realization made me inexorably sad.
“I put honey in it.”
My head snapped up.
Keir gestured to the tankard. “Makes it go down smoother.”
“Why?”
