Page 104 of The Shrouded Queen
He nodded and tossed another twig into the fire. “What happened, Amunet?”
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. But he kept his gaze trained on the fire. “The Behemoth was faster than you said.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” He meant why hadn’t I, Amunet Khada, used my gods-given magic to save us. “Does it have anything to do with that scar?”
I turned to him sharply. “What?”
He nodded toward my chest. “I felt it at the first ceremony. It’s right over your heart. And it’s old. Did something happen to you? Did it affect your power?”
I pressed my hand over theXprotectively. When Keir had asked me something similar, I’d owed him an explanation. I supposed I owed Rade the same, given what my misstep had cost us, but the answer planted itself stubbornly at the back of my throat and refused to come any farther. “No,” I said softly. “I just haven’t gone through the Igniting yet. I tried to warn you.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, debating. But then, like he couldn’t help it, he said, “We’re relying on you, Amunet. You know that, right?” His brown eyes seared into mine. “All of us, all of Kaldfold. We’re relying on your power.”
It will break us. Guilt ate away at my stomach lining.
He blew out a sharp breath. “Sorry, I— That’s not fair of me to—” Rade fixed his face into another smile, though it didn’t fully reach his eyes. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
I returned his tight smile and wrapped my arms around myself. The campfire did nothing to chase away the chill in my bones.
Rade cleared his throat. “We’ll arrive back in Frostguard a little later than expected, but we should still have a full week to recover before the final ceremony.”
That picture from the ancient manuscript of the pair bleeding out flashed behind my lids.
“It’ll be easy,” Rade assured. “No gigantic monsters to fight—and no more venturing into the Shroud. The final ceremony is about struggling with inner demons. Though I suppose that might be scarier than a gigantic monster.” For the both of us.
I let out a long breath, sagging against the rock wall behind me. “And then it’ll be over.” All the lying, the ridiculous rituals, the guilt, the unending questions. It would all be over after that ceremony, and I would face Shaya in the After Realm.
“It’ll just be beginning,” Rade corrected.
“Right. Of course.”
He tilted his head to study me, the firelight flickering gently over his red runes. Then his eyes dipped to my neckline. “If you won’t tell me about that scar, can you at least tell me what happened to your shoulders? Those look fresh.”
Bain waiting for me in the dark, his claws sinking into my skin, blind terror.
“Amunet… they look like claws,” he said as if he could see the memory, too. Rade’s face darkened. “Tell me which of my people did it, and I will see to it that they are dealt with. You are under my protection.”
My eyes flicked up to the king, at the intensity in his eyes. Though I’d been taught to fear him and his people my entire life, I always felt safe with him. Even now, with an injured leg and the closest civilization more than three days away, I was glad for his comforting presence.
I—I wanted to tell him. Not just how I’d gotten hurt, but my name, my history. I wanted to tell him everything.
But as I ran my finger over theXagain, I heard the warning as clearly as if Amunet had shouted it in my face. Tell him, and he’ll hunt her down. His intentions might be good, but Amunet’s power was hers by Shaya’s decree. Not his to take.
And I couldn’t tell him about Bain. If “dealing” with him meant Rade would have him killed, the Seven would have to face another loss—and I couldn’t do that to Velka. Plus, reliving that night meantI’d have to think about how Keir had saved me. How he’d wiped away my tears, how he’d stood close, his breath on my neck, heat at my back, and inhaled my scent. How it had turned my insides to lava and made my pulse race. How I’d nearly run just to see what he’d do when he caught me.
I had no desire to think of that.
Shoulders curling forward, I mumbled, “I’ll tell you after the final ceremony.” A ceremony I wouldn’t survive.
Some of the tension leaked out of Rade. “Deal.”
That guilt climbed up from my stomach to lodge itself in my throat. He was looking at me like I’d agreed to save his people all over again. The rage he’d feel when he found out…
“Tell me about your training,” he said, yanking me out of my spiraling thoughts.
“What?”
“It’s one of the few things I know about you—that you trained with a khopesh. Do you enjoy weapons training?”
