Page 3 of Shadow Secrets
S. Crenshaw.
The floor shifted under him, the name a blow to the place he’d spent six years trying to wall off.
Crenshaw.
Dom had recommended a Crenshaw.
He looked her over again. Not the ink, band tee, or the way she held herself like she was bracing for a hit. He studied her face and did the math.
The age was right. The coloring was right. And the way she was looking at him—like he was something that had crawled out of her worst nightmare and into her place of work on the one day of the year she could least afford it—that was right too.
Penn Crenshaw’s sister.
“Get out.” Her voice shook at the edges.
“I didn’t know,” he said. “Dom sent me. I didn’t know you were?—”
“I don’t care who sent you. Get out of this shop.”
Every operational instinct he had said disengage, de-escalate, remove yourself from the situation. But his feet wouldn’t move, because the woman in front of him had the same wound he did. He’d never stood this close to anyone else who’d understood what that day had cost him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and the words tasted wrong immediately, insufficient and presumptuous and too small for the space between them. “For?—”
“Don’t.” She cut him off, her tone like a scalpel. “Don’t you dare stand in my shop today and tell me you’re sorry. You don’t get to be sorry.” Her chest rose and fell. “You got a medal. You got a freaking book deal. You”—she chuckled without humor—“got to be America’s hero.” She spat the last two words like they’d burned her mouth. “My brother got a body bag.”
He absorbed the words the way he’d absorbed the bullet—full impact, no flinch, the pain a private thing that he didn’t let anyone see.
“I didn’t take the book deal,” he said quietly. “Or the medal. I didn’t want any of it.”
“Oh, that must’ve been hard for you.” Her voice was serrated. “All that fame and glory you didn’t ask for. Meanwhile, I can’t use my own last name without people treating me like a disease. ‘Crenshaw. Where do I know that—oh.’ Every single time. In every room I walk into for the rest of my life.”
His life hadn’t been the victory lap she imagined, but anything he said would sound like an excuse. “Your brother made a choice that day,” he said, and watched her flinch as if he’d struck her. He hated himself for saying it. “I did my job.”
“You chose to pull the trigger.”
“Yes.” No hesitation. He owed her that, at least—the truth without padding. “He had a gun. He’d already fired. There was a sixteen-year-old girl behind me. I saved her life.”
Pain. Rage. Her face hid none of it. And underneath both, so deep it wrecked him, the exhaustion of a woman who’d been carrying a weight she’d never asked for and couldn’t put down.
He saw the same thing every morning in the mirror.
“Get. Out.” Quieter this time. Not a command—a plea wrapped in steel. “Please.”
The please undid him. He could’ve withstood more anger. He could’ve stood there and taken every sharp thing she wanted to throw. But that single word, dragged out of her against her will, told him everything he needed to know about what his presence was costing her.
He reached into his jacket pocket. Her eyes tracked the movement, and he saw something flash across her face—not fear, exactly, but the ghost of it—and the fact that his hand going into his jacket made Penn Crenshaw’s sister flinch was a thing he’d hate forever, whether he wanted to or not.
He set the lynx sketch on the counter. He didn’t know why. An offering. A surrender. Evidence that he’d come here as a man looking for ink, not a monster looking to salt a wound. “I came for a tattoo,” he said. “That’s all.”
He turned and walked out. The bell jangled behind him, cheerful and obscene.
He made it to the truck before it fully hit him. The look on her face when he’d said your brother made a choice. The flinch. The way her hands had pressed flat against the counter like she was holding herself upright.
Sebastian sat in the driver’s seat with the engine off and his hands in his lap.
Sebastian Whitaker’s hands did not shake. Not when he’d thrown himself in front of Ginger Galbraith’s body. Not when he’d returned fire from the floor with a bullet in his side. Not during six hours of congressional testimony with cameras in his face and senators trying to turn his worst day into a talking point.
His hands were shaking now.
