Page 70 of Forever is the Sweetest Con
“Do you really think so?”
“Yeah, for sure.” Harmony’s face is tight with worry. “For sure,” I repeat. “I mean, we have food, we’re all young and healthy, and we’renot eventhatfar from land.” Her face brightens a little bit. “We’re going to be fine.”
She nods. “Thanks, girl,” she says, leaning in for a hug. “You want to go chill in the hammocks?”
“I should help Kei with food prep.”
“Are things okay with you two?”
“Yeah, I think he’s just stressed about everything that’s been going on.”
She nods, and winks at me. “Go get your man.”
I decide, as I walk to the Mess Hall, that I’m going to get Kei into the storeroom. I rehearse our conversation—how I have to drive home the point that as long as the cameras are running, we need to stick to the plan. But when I get to the Mess Hall, I quickly change my mind.
He’s at the counter, cracking eggs into a stainless-steel bowl. He doesn’t even look up.
“Do you need some help?” I ask.
“I’m good,” he says.
I stand there for a moment longer, searching for something I can say to make things right between us. He turns his back to me, a clear signal that our conversation is over.
I hurry away from the Mess Hall. Maybe I should just give up. Kei has been so miserable with me since the night in the Treehouse, and I die a little bit every time I have to force him to kiss me or hold my hand or sleep beside me in bed. My desperation wafts off me like a stink, and maybe I should just walk away and preserve whatever shred of dignity I have left.
I find Harmony at the hammocks, and I climb in beside her, word-lessly. She leans her head against mine. “It’s going to be okay,” she says. “It’s all going to be okay.”
I manage to keep a brave face through breakfast, wincing every time Kei laughs at someone else’s joke, but by the time I’ve cleaned my dishes I can’t hack it anymore. Fighting back tears, I beeline to the Bunkhouse and pull on my bikini. I run down the beach path, choking back sobs, until my feet hit the water. I only feel the hottears on my face for a moment, until I dive into the cold, dark lake. I hold my breath for as long as I can, only surfacing to fill up before going under again. I open my eyes, but there is nothing to see in the murk. I force myself to stay under for a count of ten before I allow myself to come up for a breath, my legs propelling me forward in the darkness. I take a breath and then go down for twelve. I come up gasping, my heart pumping. Back down for fifteen. At twenty, stars crowd my peripheral vision. At twenty-three, I burst through the water, my lungs starved of oxygen. I stay up just long enough to catch my breath before I plunge back under.
After a while, my mind quietens, and I come back into my body. The fiery ache of my muscles, my lungs clenching in protest. I flail through the water to get back to shore, pulling up onto the beach like a ship running aground. I lie there, panting, the gentle current of the lake lapping at my legs.
I imagine my body melting into the earth, dripping around the rocks and soaking into the sand underneath. I’m not sure how long I’ve been lying there when I hear a voice say my nickname. “Cleopatra Jones.” I open my eyes to find the faces of Damian and Giovanni hovering over me. “You okay?
“Yeah,” I croak. I push myself up with jelly arms. “What are you guys doing?” They’re both wearing backpacks and clutching walking sticks.
“We’re going to get the lay of the land, see what our options are for getting out of here,” says Damian, extending a hand and pulling me up to standing.
“Oh. Okay. Cool cool.” I’m feeling woozy, so I brace myself, hands on my thighs.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. Hey, watch out for bears!” A goofy laugh escapes my mouth. I’m trying to sound light and fun, but from the look on Damian’s face, it must be giving ‘unhinged.’
“What?”
“Nothing, never mind.”
Damian pulls me in with one arm for a hug. He ruffles my hair, peering at my face. “You good, Jones?”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Am I good?
I was just fantasizing about my body becoming one with the earth so no, I’m probably not good.
“Yeah. You guys be safe.”
Damian stares at me a moment longer, but eventually nods, and gives me one more hug before they leave.
