Page 101 of Forever is the Sweetest Con
I scowl at him and he scowls right back, but before he leaves, he plants a kiss on my cheek. “She was my girl first,” he says to Kei.
Kei nods, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Understood,” he says. He blushes as Cori kisses his cheek as well.
“Places, everyone,” Andy calls. I take my seat, tugging at my dress to make sure it covers all the important parts.
For this take, we act like we don’t pee with the door open, and Andy seems satisfied. The waiter brings Kei a glass of champagne. If he recognized me, then he’s fully starstruck by Kei.
“I’m a huge fan,” he blurts out. “‘In the Lake’ got me through my breakup. It’s such an amazing song.”
Kei’s cheeks redden. “Thank you for saying that,” he says, quietly. He agrees to a photo, smiling patiently and being so kind, the way he always is. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that,” he says, after Andy has to gently but firmly guide the waiter away.
“Well, get used to it, because once the album is out, it’s going to happen all the time.”
“Cheers to that,” he says, raising his glass. I clink his glass, but I’m having trouble catching his eye.
“Is everything okay?”
He smooths his hands down his thighs. “Yes. Yeah, just nervous about this reunion special, I guess.” He smiles, like he’s clicking back into reality. “How about you? Are you excited?”
He knows how I’m feeling. We’ve talked about it at length for the last several weeks. But this is for the cameras.
“I’m a little nervous, too. It’s going to be weird to relive it all. But I’m mostly excited to see everyone.”
He grasps my hands across the table. “When was the last time you saw anyone from camp?” This he also knows.
“Well, Harmony and I had that weekend in New York in June, but other than that, I haven’t seen anyone since we left the hospital.”
“Except Sue-Ellen.”
“Oh, right. How could I forget the most surreal day of my life?” I say, laughing. After we left the hospital, we were met with what could onlybe described as a media firestorm. We were a sensation, and everyone wanted a piece of us. We went on talk shows, late-night shows, pod-casts—people could not get enough of us and our story.
But the wildest thing of all was when the Prime Minister—the freakingPrime Minister of Canada—invited me and Sue-Ellen to have lunch at 24 Sussex Drive so he could thank us for our bravery. Me, self-proclaimed dirtbag and reformed scam artist, dining with one of the leaders of the free world. What is this life?
“Can I pour you another glass of champagne?” The waiter has reappeared, studiously ignoring Kei so he can keep his cool.
I cover my glass with my hand. “I’d better not, thanks.”
“Look at you, so responsible,” Kei says.
“Right? I just really want to nail my audition in the morning.”
He squeezes my hand. We chat through dinner, trying to sound natural as we follow the producer’s prompts. I know the point is to catch the audience up on our lives, but it feels silly to ask Kei if he likes living together in our new West Hollywood apartment. I know, as the only remaining couple from Camp Couple-Up, that people are interested in our story, especially now they’ve seen the footage.
I have to say, I’m proud of myself for that idea. After Tyler and Gabby were caught, the police confiscated the footage from the show as evidence. Once they were charged (second-degree murder, fraud, reckless endangerment, and a slew of other offences) and the case was considered closed, the police offered the footage to us, the campers. We weren’t sure what to do with it at first—it was hundreds of hours of mostly boring day-to-day stuff—but I had the idea to pitch it to some (legit) production companies. We ended up selling it, along with the story rights, for a small fortune, which was shared between the original ten campers. It was enough for me to save my mom’s house, which we promptly sold, and then we both moved to LA, where I rented her an apartment right next to mine and Kei’s. She’s working fifteen hours a week at the bank, and it’s the best I’ve seen her in years.
The game changer, though, was what the new production company did with the footage. We all expected it to be made into a documentary, but instead, they made it into a dating show, exactly as it was intended to be. The twist, though, was that since everyone knew it was a scam, they really played that up in editing, resulting in a hilarious and heart-wrenching train wreck that millions of viewers could not tear their eyes away from. It was, as Tyler promised me on that first phone call, absolutely massive.
That’s when everything changed. I got flooded with offers from agents, and I chose one who looks like a teddy bear but is really a shark. Kei started getting calls from record labels and producers, and he recorded his first single, which blew up immediately. We’re living our dreams, and we’re doing it together.
And now, tonight, we’re closing the book on Camp Couple-Up. After the reunion special is done we’ll all move forward, leaving this strange chapter behind us. I’m ready for it. I know some people will always see me as a camper, but I want more than that.
“Are you ready?” Kei asks. I smile and nod. Kei exhales slowly, grimacing.
“Are you okay?” I ask. He’s gone a bit pale. “Are your sugars okay?”
Now that he can afford American health insurance, Kei recently got an insulin pump, which has been such a positive change for him, but there’s been a learning curve.
He gives me a pained smile. “I’m fine.”
