Page 159 of You've Got Hate Mail
Except me.
What if—what if he wakes up and realizes I’m not actually good enough for him?
What if he works through all of his own lingering insecurities about not being a good dad, and he goes in search of someone who’s just as amazing as he is?
“I’ll make sure my dragon likes you, Daddy,” Lavender says.
He ruffles her hair. “Appreciate that.”
“But no one else. Except Cricket. And Fluffy and The Cockinator. And Aunt Pip and Mabel and Ginny and Samantha and Olivia and Elizabeth and Dori and Ursula and Sadie.”
Several pairs of eyes shifted my direction when she named me first.
“The Cluckinator, Lav,” Heath says gently.
“Do you mean Ursula and Sadie from the pictures in the hallway?” I ask her. I’ve studied the wall. I know everyone on it and why they went viral.
She nods. “They’re real. And they gave me alotof jam on my biscuits one day.”
“I heard Ursula is writing an actual romance novel,” Samantha says to Olivia.
“Can confirm,” Mabel says. “She says this one will have the requisite happily ever after, and she won’t argue with people onthe internet anymore about romance novels not needing happily ever afters. Also, she’s dating her dentist.”
“I hope he’s good with all of his tools,” Dori murmurs.
Olivia chokes on her margarita while the rest of us snicker.
“So she has clean teeth?” Lav asks.
“Exactly that,” Heath replies. “If you date a dentist, he should help you have clean teeth.”
I love watching him interact with Lav.
I love it more knowing how hard he works to have the patience he has.
“Do you hear from Sadie anymore?” Ginny asks Mabel. “I haven’t in months.”
Mabel shakes her head. “I think she’s moved on. Last I knew, she had a new job in a new city with new friends who didn’t recognize her until she told them she was…who she is.”
Sadie is thefuck offlady.
It looked like she was yelling at a grocery store cashier to fuck off in the video. Lots of kids around.
She was actually yelling at the guy at the next register, who’d been yelling athiscashier and claiming she put her finger on the scale when she weighed his tomatoes.
The videos posted of the whole event didn’t get the coverage that her video did, so very few people on the internet got the full picture, and she was designated as the villain.
Yeah, she shouldn’t have been yelling at anyone to fuck off while kids were around, but also, thousands and thousands of complete strangers didn’t need to shame her for it.
“I hope she’s still happy,” Olivia says. “Poor thing was carrying guilt like her skin was made of it.”
“How can your skin be made of guilt?” Lav asks.
“Who has kin made of silt?” Pip asks.
“I will soon,” Mabel murmurs.
Pip flips her off, and we all laugh as Mabel grins.
