Page 33 of Mine before Dawn
“Asha—”
“And I will become what they already think I am.” Her laugh broke apart painfully like an earthen pot in the harsh sun. “The Indian whore who briefly warmed your bed.”
James flinched like she had slapped him.
“Don’t say that.”
“Why? Isn’t it true?”
“No!”
His voice thundered through the alley so loudly she startled. For a moment they simply stared at each other breathing hard.
Then James scrubbed a hand over his face violently.
“You think that’s what this was to me?”
“I think this world is not fair to women like me,” she whispered. “And I am tired of learning that lesson over and over.”
He looked at her for a long time after that.
A wounded and furious emotion moved behind his eyes. He wasn't ready for this...not yet.
Finally, he said flatly, “Fine.”
The single word hurt more than shouting would have.
Then he turned and walked away. And that hurt worse. Like her heart was torn from her chest.
Asha stood there listening to his footsteps disappear into the night.
Only when the silence settled fully did she realise she was holding her breath and let herself lean against the wall.
She could not cry. She had to finish her shift, she thought as she dried her tears with her apron. Tanay would see.
She went back inside mechanically. Mavis looked up from wiping tables. One glance at Asha’s ravaged face and her expression changed.
“You alright, love?”
Asha nodded too quickly.
Mavis stared another second.
Then quietly said, “Take the rest of the night. I’ll manage.”
Asha could not even remember thanking her.
Everything afterward felt dreamlike. Or nightmarish. She collected the boy from behind the counter where he had fallen asleep curled sideways.
He woke enough to mumble something against her shoulder as she carried him home. He was getting too heavy for this.
No James followed her home. No James paid for her ticket.
At the flat she moved automatically, lighting the stove and warming leftovers.
She blew carefully on spoonfuls, feeding her son while he did his number work. The show must go on even as she was falling apart inside.
She helped him wash and say his prayers.
