Page 84 of A Castle in the Sky: Fern & Connor
Fern tried to think how to manoeuvre themselves towards the only exit.
"You drew that picture, and they took my little boy away from me. Do you understand, Coraline?You did that."
Matilda smiled a small, brittle crack that was more pain than expression. "You always ruin things," she whispered. "From the moment you were a twinkle in your daddy's eye."
"Matilda," Fern said gently, "you need to leave."
"Why?" Matilda's voice sharpened, her eyes flashing. "So, you can live inmyhouse, with the child who should have beenmine, with a man who should have beenmine—and pretend you did not steal a life that does not belong to you?"
Her breathing was erratic as she gripped the doorframe to steady herself—whether from rage, exhaustion, or something else, Fern couldn't tell.
Coral whimpered and stepped backward until her chest pressed into Fern's legs.
"Stay behind me, sweetheart," Fern murmured.
Matilda's gaze flicked to Coral, then back to Fern—a hateful, twisted jealousy in her eyes.
"You always had everything," she said, ignoring her role in everything that had happened. "A father who loves you. A husband who adores you. Your precious baby still in your arms. While mine—mine was taken from me. When will you stop taking what is mine?" Her voice trembled as she started to unravel.
"You don't know what it's like," she choked. "Connor and Sawyer left me there. They left me alone withher. They left me there to die."
Fern blinked. "With whom?"
"My mother." Matilda's breath hitched—half sob, half fury. "She didn't let me go. She made me set the curtains on fire and then held me tight. So... so tight, I couldn't breathe. She said...she said that the family should die together. Can you imagine? A mother deciding that?"
Despite the danger, Fern could feel the pain in her words.
"No one knows this," Matilda whispered. "Because I saved myself. I ran and left her, that bitch." A raw, animal moan escaped her throat. "And I never stopped paying for it."
Fern softened her voice. "Matilda... I'm sorry you went through that. I truly am."
Matilda's face twisted—anger and grief colliding. "I only ever wanted Jacob to have what I didn't," she whispered, as if she was the only one in the room. "A real mum. A proper dad. A family. But Connor… Connor was too stupid to see I was trying. And Sawyer—he knew! He knew what it was like for me, and he still betrayed me. He left me again."
Her breath came faster now. "And Kayla… Kayla only wanted me around because I look like my dad. She loved my father, you see. Was obsessed with him. That's why I could do nothing wrong. I was the daughter she never had with her lover. That's why she—" She stopped, swallowed.
"That's why I told Connor's dad," she said suddenly, her voice a jagged whisper. "I told him I saw my dad kissing Kayla. That's why they split. Because I said it. But it didn't hurt her at all. Because she wouldn't leave my dad alone."
Fern's breath stalled.
Matilda looked almost proud, then ashamed, then utterly lost.
"It was supposed to make everything make sense," she whispered. "If Connor hurt too, then maybe she would hurt. But she didn't. She wanted to shape Connor into the perfect son. She never thought he would leave. Then she suffered. And I... I kept thinking that, maybe if he suffered enough, she would, too. That she would finally pay for what she had done to my family."
Fern stared at her while trying to articulate her thoughts without setting her off. "Kayla only cares about Kayla," Fern said softly. "Hurting Connor never hurt her. It just dented her ego."
Matilda blinked, confused, like someone trying to understand a new language. "No," she said. "No, that can't be right. Everything was supposed to balance out if he felt what I felt."
"Matilda," Fern said gently, "the person you're punishing is not Kayla. It's Coral. And it's Jacob. And somewhere inside you, you know that."
Matilda's chin wobbled.
Fern continued, calm but unyielding, "You're repeating what your mother did to you. You are hurting a child who trusts you, just like she hurt you. You swore you'd never become her, and yet here you are, terrified and alone, trying to get control over your life. But you forgot Jacob."
Matilda shook her head violently as tears spilled over. "No. No, I'm not like her. I'm better. I'm trying—"
"Are you?" Fern whispered. "Is it working, Matilda? Off your medication. Exhausted. Scared. And trying to hurt a little girl who will remember this for the rest of her life… just like you did."
Matilda froze.
