Page 90 of Not Looking
She chuckled. “He fought back and got some good hits in himself. But he was used to fighting with boys. Girl fights are a completely different beast, and I was scrappy. He’d be looking to deflect a punch, and didn’t know how to counter me going for his ears and hair. I didn’t walk away unscathed, but he sported a black eye and lost a few chunks of hair. Plus other bruises.”
She grinned and turned to me. “Even better, the omega he’d dumped Randy for saw what a worthless piece of shit he was, and dumped him.”
She turned back to the sky. “It took the gym teachers coming in to pull us apart. I was still trying to fight, kicking and clawing the air, as the biggest alpha teacher at the school lifted me off my feet.” She chuckled. “I spent a week suspended for that, but it was worth it.”
Her gaze flicked back to me—pointed and demanding.
I swallowed, understanding the implied message:Hurt my brother, and it’ll be you this time.
I nodded.
She studied me for several seconds, then returned the nod.
Her gaze shifted back to the forest. “That was probably the shortest of Randy’s relationships. He met his next alpha once he’d started college. He’d enrolled at Mount Sable College to get his degree with a woodworking specialty. The alpha was in the ceramics program if I recall, and two years ahead of Randy.”
She sighed. “They spent two years together. Randy thought they were going to get mated, have kids, the works. Then the alpha graduated. That was when Randy learned that the other man had a long-term long-distance partner from his hometown. Randy had expected to be asked to move in or given someindication that their relationship was going to move to the next level. But that’s not what happened. Excuses about why he’d never met the alpha’s family suddenly made sense. Every time he went home, he doted on the omega patiently waiting for him there.”
“What did the other omega say when he found out?”
She growled. “He didn’t believe him. The piece of trash told him that Randy was somebody who’d been obsessed after being rejected—that he was trying to ruin their relationship because he couldn’t have him.”
I fought the urge to run to my omega—to pull him into my arms and promise that I would always be his.
She sighed, then continued. “It was more than a year before he was ready to date again. He was cautious, and he had plenty of first dates that went nowhere. That was the first time I saw him cynical about alphas. He saw red flags that were there, but also probably some that weren’t.”
A long breath. “We thought it wouldn’t happen again. And at first, we thought the next alpha was different. He seemed sweet and attentive. But as time went on, the excuses started. Job stress made it a bad time to discuss mating and kids. They needed to put more money aside. He wasn’t ready. It would happen eventually.”
A low growl bubbled up from my throat.
She chuckled. “I hear ya.” She shook her head. “I think they call it sunk cost fallacy. Randy had spent so much time—nearly three years—with the alpha, that he hoped it would get better rather than walk away.”
“Did he leave?”
She nodded. “His best friend, Kerry, finally convinced him that it was time to get out.”
“Was that better for him?”
She stood and started pacing—clenching and unclenching her fists. “At first. Then… only a few months later… there was a mating announcement in the paper. He’d spent years stringing Randy along, then immediately mated the next man.”
The growl was back. How dare another alpha treat my omega that way?
She focused on me, and I got myself under control.
She shook her head. “It broke him. I don’t think he cared about that alpha by then, but it had become a pattern. He was a placeholder—somebody to keep an alpha’s dick warm until a…” she growled, “better… omega came along.
She walked back over and sat on the boulder again, then let out a long sigh before resuming. “It took a long time after that before he tried dating again, but his cynicism had deepened. The dates became less and less frequent, then stopped altogether. It’s been more than a decade since I’ve heard about him being around an alpha at all.”
Her reaction to seeing me suddenly made sense. I chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” she snapped.
Another chuckle escaped before I managed to rein it in. “I was thinking about how fast you went into protective mode. I understand now.”
She stared at me, then chuckled herself. “I’ll admit, I assumed the worst.”
“May I ask a question?”
“Sure.”
