Page 59 of Not Looking
“Sorry,” I interrupted before things could get worse. “That was rude of me.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, then he shook his head and turned to me. “No, I…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not the man alphas keep around.”
I curled my fingernails into my palm. Something about those words made me almost irrationally angry, but I forced the feeling down. “I’m sure there’s somebody who will love you like you deserve.”
Because I’m that somebody.
He gave me a sad smile. “I wish that were true.”
I almost flinched from the impact of his words. They’d been uttered without anger, without despair, but with the soft resignation of one who’d accepted their fate.
Even if Joey was right, and Randy had been flirting with me at the art market, he didn’t expect anything to come from it. I could pull him into my arms that moment, promise him everything, and he wouldn’t believe it.
My fingers twitched with the desire to try, to show him that I was the man who would love him.
Russy barked excitedly, and I turned to see a squirrel running up a nearby tree.
Randy cleared his throat. “We… we should get to work.”
I nodded. “Ok.”
There was an odd tension between us as I measured the first tree. Randy stood off to one side—silent—with one arm crossed over his chest and holding the opposite elbow.
I’d done that. I’d made him uncomfortable, and it was on me to fix it.
I finished with the tree, then turned to him. “I’m sorry.”
He blinked. “What?”
“I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “For what?”
I took several steps closer, and internally breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t step back. There were still a couple of feet between us, but it was close enough. “I said things that made you uncomfortable, and that’s not what I wanted to do. So… I’m sorry.”
His posture relaxed, though he still carried more tension than I’d have liked. He shook his head. “You didn’t know.”
“That’s not a good excuse, so I won’t use it. I hurt you.”
His expression softened, and the tiniest smile tugged at his lips. “I reacted badly, and… I’m the one who was talking about mates first. So it’s my fault, too.”
“Apology accepted?” I asked.
He nodded. “Apology accepted.”
I smiled, and he returned it.
He motioned to the trees along the slope. “Shall we?”
I nodded and scanned for the next marker. “That one?” I asked when I spied a flagged tree.
He chuckled. “No. That one is going to my firewood pile.”
“Really?” I asked, studying the tree. “It looks good from here.”
He shrugged. “It’s punky. If I’d have caught it a couple years ago, I might have gotten some nice flame pieces, but it looked good from the outside. Now it’s only useful for kindling.”
“May I?”
