Page 126 of Not Looking
“It’s better for us, too,” Simon added. “Big ass wood bowls, water, florals, food… it would get heavy on the tables. Let the flowers take up more space. They’re lighter.”
“How many do you need?” I asked.
Ollie glanced at his notes again. “Twenty? They’re maxing us out. Hundred fifty guests at ten per table is fifteen just for the dining tables. Then they want two on the sweetheart table. One on the cake table. One on the card table. And one on the welcome table with the guest book.”
“Twenty bowls?” I wheezed. “Are you serious?”
Ollie laughed. “We’re not done yet. Like I said, they’ve got fuck you money.”
“There’smore?”
He nodded. “I think they’re planning to give bowls as gifts to the wedding party. Except for the ones on the sweetheart and cake tables. If I heard right, they’re going to keep those for their own decor.”
I made a note of that detail for later.
“But they want extravagant gifts for all their guests.” He paused. “How much are you going to hate me when I tell you they want mini charcuterie sets for favors?”
“I’m going to tell you right now that it won’t happen from wood from the resort. I mostly select for larger projects when I pick out what I want from here. But I can use wood from my land. I’ve got lumber already cut to good thicknesses and kiln dried. So I’d just need to know what size we’re looking at.”
He nodded again. “I already asked that. Instead of a direct answer, I was told that they want the board to come with a small jar of honey from Milner’s Apiary.”
“Hmm… the small jars are about two inches across, aren’t they?” I asked.
“Yeah. Then they want a honey dipper…”
“I hope they’re not wanting me to make those…”
“Ummm…”
I shook my head. “Nope. Those things are a pain in the ass and get lost in a drawer or tossed the instant the honey is gone. Not worth my time. Milner’s orders them from someplace that makes them in bulk on a computerized lathe. I can do cheese knives with turned handles, though.”
Ollie shrugged. “Honestly, they’d probably love that. They wanted some artisan cheeses to round it out anyway.”
I did some rough math in my head. “I’m thinking either five by seven or six by eight.”
Ollie made a note. “Let’s start with the larger. That gives you some room to haggle with an option to make them smaller.”
“Ok,” I agreed. “I’ll cut recesses for the honey jars so they won’t move around on the boards.”
“Good plan.” Ollie paused and gave me a pleading look. “Any way we can talk you into helping assemble the sets before the wedding?”
I burst into laughter. “Best you’ll get out of me is I’ll pair knife and board wood types for you.”
“I’ll take it. I already have the feeling this will be slushed off to us. I’d like to hope that theactualplanner would hire people for these incidentals, but I’m not crossing my fingers.”
“Well, I did put my foot down on extra labor,” Simon said. “I saw where this was headed, and we’ll do it, but we’ll charge.”
“At least there’s that,” Ollie said. “Randy. Figure out the pricing on your end while I go over some last-minute things with Simon. Then we should be ready for the call.”
“Ok.”
I grabbed one of the conveniently placed resort-branded notepads on the table and scribbled some notes. Materials costs, volume discounts from my utensil kit supplier, time… Then I looked at what I would normally charge, and took Ollie’s advice to double it.
And if the planner didn’t haggle as much as I’d been warned? Well… it was easier to make the couple happy with a surprise discount later than to fight now to make the job worth my time and materials.
“You ready?” Ollie asked. “It’s time.”
I looked up at him and nodded. “Yep.”
