Page 245 of Cross Checked
I’d spent the whole night touching her like I was trying to prove something to both of us. That I wanted her. That shewasn’t something temporary. That casual had been the biggest lie either of us had ever tried to sell. I’d been careful when I needed to be, careful with her ribs, careful with the places that still hurt, but I hadn’t been careful with the truth of how badly I needed her. It had been in every kiss, every whispered promise, every time I dragged her closer instead of letting either of us breathe.
Mine.
The word still beat in my blood, but this morning it didn’t feel like a claim I wanted to brand onto her skin. It felt like a confession I didn’t know how to survive.
Mine, because I was hers right back.
I shifted behind her slowly, barely moving the mattress beneath us. Hockey House was quiet for once, the kind of rare, fragile quiet that made every sound feel too intimate. The hum of the heater. Her sleepy breath. The faint creak of my bed frame as I pressed closer and let my mouth brush the back of her shoulder.
She stirred a little, a soft sound leaving her throat, and my arm tightened around her on instinct.
“Pip,” I whispered.
Her fingers moved over mine where they rested against her stomach, barely awake as she laced our hands together. “Mmm?”
That sound alone should not have made my throat close.
I kissed her shoulder again, softer this time, letting myself stay there for a second. “I need you.”
The words came out rougher than I meant them to, scraped raw from somewhere I didn’t usually let anyone touch.
She went still for a heartbeat, not tense exactly, just aware. Awake enough to hear what I hadn’t said. Awake enough to know this wasn’t me trying to take more from her just because my body was greedy and she was warm and perfect against me.
“Cade,” she whispered, sleepy and fragile. “I need you too.”
“I know,” I murmured against her skin, because I did. I knew she had to be sore. I knew I had asked a lot of her body last night. I knew there were a hundred reasons I should close my eyes, hold her, let her sleep, and pretend my chest wasn’t splitting open because she was here and I still wanted closer. “I know you feel this too.”
I stilled, my mouth against her shoulder, my hand flat over her stomach. “I just don’t know how to stop wanting to be inside this with you.”
She turned her head enough to look back at me through the pale morning light. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, soft around the edges, and so full of trust it almost made me look away.
Almost.
“This?” she asked quietly.
I swallowed, my thumb brushing over the back of her hand. “Us.”
For a second, neither of us moved.
Then something in her face changed. Not big. Not dramatic. Just a tiny, devastating softening around her mouth, like I’d managed to say the one thing that reached past every wall she still had standing.
She shifted carefully, turning just enough that I could see more of her face. My hand slid with her, staying at her waist, not pushing, not rushing, even though my whole body was aching with restraint.
“I always want you,” she whispered. “It’s my pussy that’s fighting the idea.”
A broken laugh left me before I could stop it. It was quiet and hoarse and had no humor in it at all. “Yeah, my cock is raw, but it’s me that doesn’t care.”
Her mouth curved just a little, sleepy and sweet, and that tiny smile did more damage to me than any kiss had. I leaned in and kissed her because I had to, because there was no version of me that could stay this close to her and not put my mouth on hers. She kissed me back slowly, warmly, like dawn had poured into her bones and made her soft for me.
When I pulled back, her breath skimmed my lips.
“I’m sore,” she admitted, barely above a whisper.
My eyes closed for half a second. Not because I didn’t know. Because hearing her say it made something protective and possessive twist together inside me until I couldn’t tell one from the other.
“Me too.” I kissed the corner of her mouth. “I’m raw. I know you have to be.”
Her fingers tightened over mine. “I want you. Swollen and tender, I still want you.”
