Page 132 of Poisoned Promise
“I’ll always treat you like a kid,” I murmur into his hair, hugging him tightly. “You’re my baby. You’ll always be my baby.” Those words bring forth an unexpected pang of sympathy as Caterina’s face flashes in my mind.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too. To the moon and back.”
He pulls away and sighs. “I need to go and think.”
“Will you tell me what you decide, when you’re ready?” Cupping his face, I tuck a few of his loose curls behind his ear.
“Sure.”
“Thank you.” I kiss his forehead and Alex slips from the bed, toying with his fresh cast as he hurries away.
No sooner has the door closed, though, than another knock echoes and Felix wanders in. “Good talk?”
“Were you spying?” I narrow my eyes.
“I may have overheard one or two things,” Felix admits as he walks closer. “When I arrived, you two were still in deep discussion. I was bringing you food, but it was Bree’s stew and it’s cold now, so I sent it back to be reheated.”
He sits exactly where Alex was only minutes before, only he leans over me and braces his hand on the other side of my legs, smiling warmly.
“What?” I ask, as a sudden, unexpected shyness washes over me from being caught in his intense gaze.
“Nothing,” he murmurs. “I just love looking at you.”
“It’s making me self-conscious.”
“Is it? Or are you just so not used to being admired?” His smile widens slightly. “I never want to stop looking at you.”
My heart tightens. I know what he means by that. He wants to stay and a large, aching part of me wants that too. But if Alex chooses differently, I can’t ignore how he feels.
“Felix—.”
“Wait.” He sits up straighter. “I think I know what you’re going to say but before you do, I need you to know how much I love you.”
“I—.”
“Please.” Felix’s voice softens. “Back then when I lost you, I wasn’t kidding that it nearly killed me. I never… never thought I would get to feel anything ever again until I walked into your apartment and it was like something inside me turned on for the first time in decades. And all I could think about was keeping you with me, keeping you safe so I wouldn’t lose you. And then I lost you again when that helicopter came down—.” His voice cracks slightly. “I thought you’d died. It was carnage. I saw my future. Cold and empty only this time I’d have a real grave to visit. But you were alive and I—.” He blinks quickly and distracts himself by taking my hand.
“I lost you twice, Dove. I can’t do it a third time. I love you. I love everything about you. I love how determined you are, how strong and protective you are, how sweet and funny and self-sacrificing. I love how you never back down. You’re the strongest person I know.”
“You just love that I can kick your ass,” I whisper.
He smirks. “Maybe. My point is… I want you. I want to be in your life. I want to love you and take care of you and Alex. No more secrets, no more deaths, no more hidden agendas. Just me and you and the life we can build together.”
It’s tempting.
It’s the most tempting thing I’ve ever heard in my life and I ache to say yes, but I can’t. I can’t give in when I don’t know where Alex stands.
“Alex knows the truth,” I murmur. “He knows you’re his dad.”
Felix stiffens. “Is he… I mean, how did he take it?”
“Surprisingly well. I think in the context of everything else, it being a secret made sense to him.”
“I…” He wiggles his shoulders a little. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know, Felix. I can’t make that choice for him. He wanted the truth, the whole truth, so I gave it to him. I can’t have him living in the dark anymore, it’s too dangerous. But he needs to make this decision on his own.”
