Page 137 of Tempting Miles
“How long?” he asks as we walk toward the couch together.
“Five to eight minutes,” I whisper.
He quickly sets a timer on his phone before sitting down and pulling me straight onto his lap.
“Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, boss,” he says. “I need you to let it all out.”
I stare down at my hands. “Miles… this was never part of my plan. Neither was getting married.”
A couple of tears slide down my cheeks.
“Deep down, I think I accepted marrying Easton because I knew it wasn’t real. It wasn’t forever.” I shrug. “And then you came along and literally showed me what I was missing.”“I know.” He grins. “I’m irresistible.”
Despite everything, I laugh.
But the panic quickly settles back in.
“Miles, this is serious.” I look at him helplessly. “We just survived a major heartbreak and barely figured things out between us.” My voice cracks. “Bringing a kid into the mix isn’t the smartest idea right now.”
I see the exact moment his brain short-circuits.
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, frustration creeping into my voice. “I don’t know if I want to be a mom. I don’t know if I want to have a kid when we’re just starting our relationship. I don’t know.”
Miles stays quiet for a moment, like he’s gathering his thoughts.
Then he looks me straight in the eyes.
“I’m going to be completely honest with you, Penny, because I don’t know how to be anything else.” He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “But this is your body and your decision.”
Emotion clogs my throat, so I nod for him to keep going.
“I’ve never really thought about having kids,” he admits. “For the longest time, I’ve been training to be the fun uncle.” A small laugh leaves him, but there’s no humor in it. “I’d be lying if part of that decision isn’t because I’m scared shitless I’d ruin someone’s life.”
My heart aches for the little boy he once was. The one who had to survive that kind of grief.
“Not because I can’t commit,” he continues. “Or because I don’t think I can make room for a wife and kids.” His jaw tightens slightly. “I just never wanted to experience the kind of pain losing my dad caused ever again.”
I cradle his cheek, and he leans into my touch.
“I love you,” I whisper.
His eyes soften in a way that completely melts me.
“But then you came into my life,” he adds softly. “And suddenly everything changed. You showed me what life could actually look like.”
Tears blur my vision as he keeps looking at me like I’m something precious.
“I can’t imagine my days without you anymore, Penny.” His voice gets rough. “Yeah, maybe one day death takes us away from each other too, but I’d still choose this. I’d still choose you. Every damn time.
“And if we add a kid into the mix…” His voice cracks this time. “Fuck, sugar. I can’t imagine anything better than raising a little human that’s part you and part me.
“But if you decide it’s just the two of us,” he says firmly as he pulls me against him, “I’ll take that too. That’s how much I love you.”
I completely fall apart, clinging to him as I cry into his chest while he holds me like he’s never letting go.
Our lips find each other, kissing through the fear and uncertainty and overwhelming love pouring between us.
