Page 73 of Irresistible Temptation
“Yep,” I said with a sigh.
“How are you doing?”
“Oh, just trying to keep it together.”
“You sure you’re doing the right thing?” she asked warily.
“I think so,” I said, swallowing a small bite of bacon.
“You know, I’m behind you no matter what.”
“I know.”
“And you’re sure you don’t want to tell him about the baby?”
“Nope.” I shook my head.
I heard her try to hide a sigh on the other end of the phone. I knew she wanted me to have a happy ending, similar to what she had with Jeremiah, but what they had was an anomaly. Very similar to the situation I was in now, they had navigated through it and ended up choosing each other. Choosing their little girl.
“Well, how did your letter of resignation turn out?” she asked, changing the subject.
“It’s short. To the point.” I shrugged, reminding myself to print it off my computer before heading into the office. In fact, I would do that now. I opened my laptop, the screen glaring up at me, the letter still on the screen. I didn’t re-read it, for fear I would change my mind, and hit the print button. My printer came to life, spitting out the typed-up paper quickly, as if knowing I could change my mind at any second.
I had spent two hours the night before concocting the letter. After several drafts that contained too many feelings, I settled on formal and concise, announcing my departure from Brandfield Enterprises. It had been a short tenure, but I knew I couldn’t stay. Staying on as Chester’s personal assistant would be a special kind of torture, and I doubt he wanted me there anyways.
I couldn’t go back to accounting either. Even though Sarah had told me she had buttered Mike up enough to possibly invite me to come back. I knew, at the end of the day, it wasn’t really his choice anyway. Chester would move me wherever he wanted me, and I was sure it was going to be straight out of the building.
Even if he let me stay…ifI stayed there, anywhere in that building, in that world, I would risk running into Chester. I didn’t think my heart could handle that. A constant reminder of what we had lost, or maybe never even had to begin with. I wasn’t sure which was more painful.
Plus, a growing baby bump would raise an alarming amount of questions on his end, and I just couldn’t face that. I had made the decision that I was going to do this on my own. As much as I wanted my baby to have a father, I needed that father to be reliable and sure of their role in mine and the baby’s life. I didn’t know Chester well enough to trust him with that, especially not after he played with my heart the way he did. If he could so easily drop me from his life, what else would he do?
Being a single mom would be hard, and I was scared shitless, but I had my friends to lean on.
“I’m already asking around for an accounting position with Jeremiah’s friends,” said Sadie, her voice hopeful, bringing me back to our conversation.
“Thank you,” I said, already dreading the process of finding another job. I would have to leave out the part that I was newlypregnant. No one would want to hire me knowing I would be taking maternity leave several months in.
“Of course,” she said. “Ah, I better go. I think I hear someone escaping from their room!”
I heard a trill of giggles and footsteps pounding against the ground. I smiled, picturing Sadie chasing her daughter Ayah down the halls of her home.
“Give Ayah a hug for me,” I said before hanging up the phone.
I finished the rest of my breakfast, thankful that it was settling in my stomach and not threatening to come back up. I strode back to my bedroom and perused the clothes hanging in my closet. I pulled down a white blazer and a matching skirt, slipping them on and assessing myself in the mirror. It was chic, with just a hint of sexiness from the light gray lace camisole I wore under the blazer.
I knew it was silly. Stupid really, but I wanted to look my best when I had to face Chester today. Though I had no idea why he was calling this meeting with me, I had my guesses. Well, one guess. He was going to fire me, and while it would be nice to possibly get a severance package and be on my way, I didn’t want to give him that power. I wanted to save my last scrap of dignity.
And I wanted to look good doing it.
Deep down, some part of me wanted to see that lust in his eyes again. I kept telling that part of me to “shut up,” but it was nouse. I missed the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the room. Like I was the only person he wanted or ever had eyes for. I swallowed down the lump in my throat that grew thinking about how I would never see those brown eyes drink me in like a hot cup of coffee.
I was afraid some part of me would let him have me if he wanted to. One last time before we said goodbye for good. But I knew that letting him in again, even just once, would present way more problems. Way more feelings. I was already struggling with the pent-up feelings I already had, attempting to push them down until they disappeared somewhere inside me.
It would also probably weaken my resolve when I handed him my resignation letter, professionally typed out, as I verbally told him to fuck all the way off. A poetic juxtaposition I had rehearsed in my head the night before.
Maybe, I would even tell him to fuck off with Mia or find another floozy for an assistant. Either way, I was done. I had to be.
For me.
