Page 63 of Irresistible Temptation
“It will. Second trimester, at least for most women.”
“And how far away is that?” I asked forlornly.
“Judging by the time frame, not for a while…” she said regretfully, tucking her dark brown hair behind her ears.
“Great,” I muttered before spitting my toothpaste out.
Gabriella laughed softly and put her hand on my upper back. “You’ve got this, Juliet. Peppermint tea, ginger lollipops, crackers. I’ll put together a little care package for you, okay?”
“Thanks, Gabs,” I said, turning toward her and leaning against the sink. “For everything.”
“Of course.” She nodded. “You did the same for me.”
“I don’t know how you got through it. And you got your happy ending…” I said longingly.
“You can have yours, too…”
“I don’t think so. Not with him. Everything is too screwed up.”
“You’ll figure it out,” she said.
I sighed, unconvinced, thinking about the day ahead, wanting to curl back in my bed and try to get some sleep. The last place I wanted to be was in the office. It reminded me too much of Chester, our brief, yet consuming history, and how it was all about to come crashing down. He would be flying back today, and just knowing we would be in the same city made the reality of being pregnant with his baby all that more real.
Even though I wouldn’t see him until the following morning, I still had no idea how I would find the words or the guts to tell him I was pregnant. Plus, that someone had caught us in the act and was now leaving mysterious threats. I had almost forgotten that last part, with the double lines on the pregnancy test staring up at me yesterday morning, everything else had faded away. Almost.
“You okay to go to work?” asked Gabriella.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Want to play hooky? You could call in sick!”
“I can’t.” I shook my head, as appealing as it sounded. “I need this job. More than ever now.”
I wished I could up and quit, find another job and not have to face Chester again. I had been working on my résumé, but had yet to send it out. I was still holding out hope that Mike would welcome me back to accounting. I had to talk to Sarah and see what she said.
Maybe, I didn’t even want to stay at Brandfield Enterprises. It would be a hell of a lot easier working somewhere when there wasn’t the chance of running into the man I was falling for. But I had a baby to think about, and the money was good. And the benefits. Even if I went back to accounting and left the cush salary of being Chester’s personal assistant, it would be more than enough. I had to be responsible. Up and leaving wasn’t an option.
“I know,” she said, reaching for my hand and giving it a squeeze.
“You should go,” I said. “Get back to Melodie and Chandler.”
“Are you sure?”
“Definitely.” I nodded. “You’ve already helped more than you know just by being here.”
“Call me, okay? Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will.”
After Gabriella had changed out of the pajamas I had loaned her, she dressed back into her chic matching linen set and left to hail a cab home. Once she was gone, the apartment suddenly felt more empty than normal, leaving me with all the thoughts that were swarming my brain. I looked around the place that now seemed too crammed, now that I knew a baby was on the way. Sure, it was nine months away, but these were things I had to think about, especially with New York’s market. A move might not even be possible.
I turned slowly in a circle, taking in the living room, seeing where I could push the couch to make room for a playpen. I did the same thing in my bedroom, mentally putting together a puzzle of furniture to see how I could make a bassinet fit. It wasn’t impossible, but it wasn’t ideal. I started to feel overwhelmed, and tried to push the overwhelming thoughts away as I opened my closet door and looked through the rack for something to wear.
I chose an all-black suit that matched my mood. My heart felt heavy in my chest as I did the waistband and slid on the blazer. I could hardly look at myself in the mirror that hung on my closet door. Soon, these clothes wouldn’t even fit anymore. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I was too sad to function. Here I was,pregnant and devastated. This was a time that I was supposed to be happy. Elated. Excited about the future. But here I was on the verge of tears.
I had always dreamed of being a mother one day, but this wasn’t what I had envisioned. I foolishly thought it would be at the exact perfect time in life with a partner who loved me. Life didn’t work that way, though. I could see that now. Right now, it just seemed cruel. I didn’t have a partner who loved me. I didn’t have a partner who would be excited about this when I told him. The thought made my stomach churn, and I knew it wasn’t the morning sickness.
Quickly, I finished getting ready, twisting my hair into a bun that sat on top of my head and swiping a layer of clear gloss on my lips. I didn’t want to put in the effort, and was too tired to care. I would probably be in the bathroom part of the day anyway.
