Page 33 of Just in Time
German took the hint. “Hey, buddy. Why don’t you see if we have enough bacon for everyone? I think it’s way back in the back of the fridge.”
Ben popped to his feet and ran for the kitchen. His little feet pattered on the floor, making German smile.
Ruth watched until he was gone. She lowered her voice. “Dara never made it to rehab. That’s why I’ve been burning up your phone with all the calls you’ve been dodging. I have no idea where she is. I kept hoping she’d show up here.”
Ben ran back into the room, holding two packs of bacon. He practically tossed them at German as he ran back to his haul and went back to playing.
Ruth stood. “Well, I had better get started cooking before everyone fills up on candy. Why don’t you help me, Justin?”
Blaze stood. He bent and kissed German before heading for the kitchen. German’s shoulders relaxed despite him not feeling any less stressed. The tension had left the room.
Ben stood and carried crayons and a coloring book to German. He climbed into German’s lap. “I don’t like bacon.”
German laughed. “I know. No one will make you eat it.”
He colored the sky red. “Granny always makes me eat everything, even when it makes me throw up.”
German refused to let Ben see how much that pissed him off. “You live here now. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Ben cuddled closer and didn’t try to color the way German knew he could. He was all over the place, making German wonder if he was simply releasing nervous energy.
“I don’t want to go back.”
Ben’s softly spoken confession nearly broke him.
German couldn’t promise Ben it wouldn’t happen, and that made him feel sick. Instead, he kissed Ben’s temple. “You’re an amazing kid. I don’t want you to leave. Justin doesn’t want that either. So, we’ll work on it, okay?”
Ben nodded but kept his voice at a whisper. “Momma said I wouldn’t go back.”
Fuck. The truth overcame German in the saddest of tsunamis. Dara had never planned to go to rehab or to come back for Ben. She had let her addiction beat her and did the only right thing she could in the end. She saved her son.
Blaze knew his mom. She was in her keep-family-drama-private mode. It rubbed Blaze the wrong way because German was family. But it was for the best they didn’t speak in front of Ben because he had some things to say. He didn’t waste time.
“Before you say anything, just listen, okay?” Blaze didn’t give her a chance to answer. “I swear we’re not trying to rebel against you or keep Ben from you. We’re genuinely doing what we think is right for Ben. He’s thriving here, and dang, Mom, you’ve raised six kids already. Until Dara skipped out, she still lived at home, and I don’t doubt for a second she’ll turn up again someday. Probably sooner rather than later. She loves Ben too much to vanish forever. Ben is three years old. You’re retired. I hate to sound shitty, but he needs younger parental figures. Plus, he’s—”
“You’re right.”
Blaze blinked at the interruption. “What?”
Ruth held his stare. “I said you’re right. It’s like he’s not even the same child.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked away. She went to work, opening the bacon. “I know I’ve always been tough on you kids. Look how successful it’s made you. But kids aren’t like they used to be, and I don’t know what’s expected of me. We didn’t have all this autism stuff when you were little.”
A bark of laughter burst from Blaze. “They absolutely did.”
Ruth huffed. “You know what I mean.”
Unfortunately, he did. She meant they had just done exactly what she had been doing to Ben, and it was wrong. Not to mention dangerous. People who weren’t accepted for who they were ended up depressed, heavily medicated, and suicidal. He didn’t want that for Ben. Considering how easily Dara had always gotten overwhelmed and hated certain fabrics to the point she couldn’t focus on anything else, he imagined Ben came by it honestly, and the refusal to see that very likely helped fuel her drug addiction. He wouldn’t kick his mom while she was down by saying that.
Ruth worked on breakfast while she spoke. She had always been the same, needing a shield to handle the hard talks. “Before I flew out here, I had already decided maybe I wasn’t what Ben needs. So let me tell you how beyond irked I am that you haven’t been taking my calls. Have I ever done anything to you that’smade you feel like we can’t work it out? We talked every day before this.”
She really did not want him to be honest. He had loved feeling like they got along great, but no. She did not make confrontations easy. He took another approach. “Mom, you were a lawyer and a judge. It’s not fun arguing with you.”
She huffed. “I tried my best not to bring that home.”
Blaze smiled. “I know. If it makes you feel better, I had a great childhood. I love talking to you every day. You’re a big reason why I wasn’t scared to follow my dreams straight into success. But, truthfully, coming home for any family gathering has been kind of not fun for a while now.”
She stopped and turned. The way she held his stare let him know she hadn’t noticed and was offended. “Well, you’re grown. Parties are for kids.”
Blaze gave her a look he felt from his soul. “That’s not the problem. Alcohol exists for a reason, and I can get through anything with a strong enough drink. But are you seriously telling me you haven’t noticed how Chrissy and Melinda treat me? You honestly don’t know they hate gays and make sure I know it? Are you saying you didn’t notice how my brothers stand by that shit? Bringing German with me on the Fourth was the best time I’ve had in years, simply because he looks scary, so they steered clear. Otherwise, I’m just the little brother they feel no remorse for shitting on.”
