Page 125 of Winds of Ruin
As I sat in bed, I combed my damp hair, trying and failing to forget what Emmerick had revealed. If I forgot, then it wouldn’t hurt so badly that he’d gone days without telling me.
Guilt created a rash on my chest. I’d held things from him, too. My involvement in Helos, Bringham’s ultimatum to marry, that our first kiss had not happened in that sea cavern.
A gentle knock told me Emmerick had kept his promise to return.
“Any spiders that need handling?” his muffled voice called. I set the brush down and pulled back the covers. Luckily, I’d chosen a longer wool nightgown to fight the cold. It had been a frigid day, and a fire roared beneath the mantel.
I swung open the door to reveal a hulking man leaning against the frame. He, too, was dressed for sleep in a tight-knit long sleeve shirt and loose-fitting breeches. He glanced over me briefly before a gentle smile graced his face.
“I wanted to say goodnight. And, El… I should have told you sooner. I was so caught up in working it out myself. Which was foolish when there was someone to share it all with.”
The hurt settled into remorse. I could think of no reason he should be sorry, and having him in my space brought me a new sort of peace—one where quiet moments like this felt important.
“I may have overreacted,” I said. “Just a smidge.”
He shook his head to disagree and made to speak again.
I held a finger to his lips, which he playfully swatted away, as he said, “I’m so—”
“Enough—I don’t need the gallantry of groveling.” Though I wouldn’tmindhim on his knees. “How is Angeline?”
His tender smile melted me.
“Chattering on—what Wyeth has given her for the pain makes her loose-lipped and loopy. She asked about you. Multiple times.”
“I’d pay to see that. And what did you tell her?”
His expression turned mischievous. “Only good things. She was upset you didn’t come with me—made me feel quite inadequate, actually.”
The moment of levity sank. I owed her a visit—when she was well. I glanced toward the fire, where two armchairs sat. “Do you want to have a nightcap with me?”
He nodded. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I stepped aside, and Emmerick walked toward the chairs. “Wine or something stronger?”
“Whatever you’re having.”
Something stronger, then.
Why did this feel so stiff?
I’d never taken another to this room. It’s where my parents’ bedchamber used to sit in the old floor plan. During renovations, it had been the one room I did not wish to replicate perfectly.
Instead, I’d decorated to my taste. A large picture window sat to the right, draped in heavy burgundy wool. The rugs were the finest Sahlmsaran textiles. I’d taken pieces of the desert with me—terrazzo tile lay below the thick woven rugs, and rocky landscapes painted in brown and red oils decorated the walls.
I’d longed for home while in Sahlmsara, but my bedchamber here paid tribute to the place I’d called home for so long. The Sahlms had welcomed me when I had nowhere else to turn.
Emmerick settled into an armchair and lazily put his hands behind his head as he watched me pour two fingers of amber liquor for each of us. I ignored the heat that spread through my body. His attention became the sweetest torture. I’d not felt this off-kilter since I was a girl writing a profession of love to a boy who didn’t know my name.
If I were still the type of girl to wish upon stars and pluck petals off daisies, then I’d wish to be capable of everything he deserved. But I did not wish to be a mother, or a queen, or an obstacle along his path to greatness.
He would be an honorable ruler for the Corridor I loved.
I set his glass on the side table. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
He shrugged and met my gaze as I sat across from him. “Maybe I should be. The last time that crown sat on my head things went to shit fast. But it sounds like I havefarbetter support in Helos’ affairs.”
I frowned. “Do youwantto rule, Emmerick?”
