Page 90 of Winds of Ruin
Well, fuck.
When I’d swore Elsedora to secrecy about that damned mirror, I hadn’t meant to hurt my loved ones. I thought they would be better off not living in the past.
This future Sybilla built—she deserved it all. Would it have been harder for her to move forward had she conversed with me?
Heaving a sigh, I sat in the deep leather chair opposite her. “I can explain that.”
“Sign first, explain later. You will not waver in your commitments this time. The North Corridor fares well, but the people there need a source of hope to bring them together. I let you be fickle about this once before, and look where that led.”
I tilted my head and leaned my forearms on the table. “That is unfair—we both know I was unfit then, and I can’t guarantee I’m any more fit now—even with Caym out of my head. And you don’t seem to be in such a terrible place, Sybilla.”
Nothing had changed. I still didn’twantto lead anyone—but protecting the land where an enchanted plum orchard sat, where a young El had grown up? That felt important enough to try. My reign would be far from perfect, but I could learn to be the King they needed.
“I wasn’t talking about just me,” she snapped back. “You left so many people in the dark. It was selfish.”
Sybilla would sooner lash out at me than admit she’d missed me—it was her way. Her piercing green eyes met mine.
I nodded, teeth grinding from the venom in her words.
When Elsedora first found the mirror, my anger with Sybilla for withholding the truth about my lineage all those years had clouded my judgment. By the time the anger had faded, it’d felt too late and unforgivable to tell her about the mirror. But she was right—there were others I’d opted not to face too.
“You all have every right to be upset with me,” I said. “I felt too broken to be of help to anyone, too angry to be a friend, toohopeless to think of anything but surviving the curse. I will do as I must to make it right.”
Her lower lip quivered—the only sign that she was softening to my explanation. “You didn’t want to speak toanyof us? Not even Asterie or Fen? Amara? For all those years?”
Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I cleared my throat.
Sources, the realization crushed me—I’d missed so many moments.
“Of course I did, Syb. But I knew Asterie and Fen would never keep that mirror a secret from you—at least Asterie wouldn’t. I thought it would be easier for you all to move forward without me. And Amara...”
I paused with a sigh. My birth mother brought forth more complicated feelings. I didn’t want to see her for the tragic woman who lost everything, not when she’d given me up by choice, not when it was easier to let resentment build instead of forgiveness.
She’d charmed my parents’ memories, forced them to believe they were my blood relation. When the charm broke, it had hurt Mama. I couldn’t forgive that.
“When I was stuck with Caym in my head, I saw his memories. They were usually a muddied mix of rage and pain, but I saw the day Mattock left Amara. She was never a mother to me, but I saw her protect me. It was confusing. It still is.”
Sybilla finally relaxed back into her chair. Her gaze softened. “I’m sorry, Em...”
“You don’t need to be. I chose not to speak with you, and you woke me still. You’re owed an apology and a thank you.”
Her brows lifted. “How much did my daughter tell you?”
One side of my mouth turned up. “I did hear something about a kiss. Was I still any good?”
She huffed a laugh. “It was a little one-sided,” she jabbed.
“Fitting,” I mused.
A smile finally crept across my dear friend’s face.
A Little One-Sidedcould be the title of a book written about my and the Central Corridor Queen’s relationship.
For once, I didn’t hold any bitterness about it.
Instead, I stared down at Elsedora’s faded signature. She believed in me. That meant something.
I grabbed the quill Syb kept in an inkpot and signed the agreement without reading it.
