Page 83 of Born of Starlight
“I was starved for conversation. I knew so little of the world below…Those men offered a glimpse into that, however small. I would have given anything for it. Some only wanted food and respite as a reward, others…wanted something different. It was tolerable—mostly.”
My own words weakened my point.
He took a deep breath, glancing back up at my ghastly depiction in the glass as his jaw grew more taut. I snuck a glance at the profile of his face, which had been made more handsome by his recent grooming.
“I understand the longing for company. I know I have no right, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to dismember anyone who took advantage of you. Intimacy like that isn’t somethingto betolerated,Asterie.”
There was silence between us before his eyes widened, and his neck snapped to look over at me.
“You didn’t…in the tub. You know that you didn’t have to...” He was jumbling his words, but I understood his concern.
“I asked you to touch me. That was very different. Foolish, but of my own will.” My response took no thought at all.
It didn’t seem to dissuade his concern because he was scanning my face for any fault. I pulled my attention back to the glass.
Being in those woods as long as he had been couldn’t have been easy. He could relate to my starvation for company. Only his was earned. He deserved to rot away in those woods. It didn’t make us friends again to empathize with him.
“That doesn’t explain the teeth and horns,” Fenris mused.
It was my turn to grow still and stiff. “After my firstencounterwith a man, he was not—” I struggled to explain it. “He was a brute and not gentle with me.”
“He forced you?” I could see him heave a deep breath in my peripheral vision.Was it the magic within him calling to protect me? Or something else?
“Yes.”
I chanced another glance at him. There was no amusement in those hazel eyes—only lethal intent. He looked like he could set fire to the man who had undoubtedly died decades ago of old age.
Fenris’ attention returned to the figure of the half-woman, half-beast etched in the glass above us as though bracing for the rest of my explanation.
“In the morning, he demanded I make us tea.” I spoke up to that version of myself as though trying to remind her. “In those moments away from him, I charmed the tea. Instead of seeing my face, he would see and remember only a beast so gruesome and fierce that he would never think of returning. He soiled himself when he took the first sip. He never attempted to climb the tower again.”
“I am sorry for what you went through.” His tone was sincere, but he still looked murderously angry.
Fenris’ interest still lit a fire inside of me—stupid bond.“He’s good and dead by now, I’d guess.”
“Then give me a name because I want to piss on his grave.”
“I don’t know it.” I frowned. “From then on, all men—even the pleasant ones—were sent away with the same enchantment. It was the easiest way to ensure no attachments and no return visitors. It was risky enough to allow them up at all—if the Sisters found out I’d let them in…”
What would have happened?I suddenly found myself not knowing.
Every ounce of stiffness in his body left him. He cracked a smile before releasing a quiet chuckle. With my vulnerable details laid bare to him, my mouth hung open at his audacity to laugh. He reallywasa monster.
“Oh, I can see it now. The fools scrambling from your bed, breeches around their ankles, pissing themselves.” Fenris’ laughter was gaining momentum. “Too scared to remember their boots.”
My lips involuntarily quirked upward. He was bending at the waist, too overcome with laughter to stand straight.
“Did they even use the stairs or just fling themselves off the balcony?”
His laughter was smokey and magnetic—his breath caught in a cough. My lips curved further in response. When I thought about it, it was a comical deception, no matter how dark its origins.
“It is brilliant. You’re brilliant.”
He grew intense when he looked at me. He could say so much with that gaze—forgive me, kiss me, want me back.I needed to keep my wits—he was a charming war criminal. Deadly, dangerous.
“You’re so damn beautiful when you smile. Has anyone ever told you that? I’ll miss it.” He seemed unable to control his words as he blurted them between catching his breath.
My face fell into an expression of smooth tranquility. “No.” It was all I could muster.
