Page 30 of Secret Heart
“No,” I say slowly. Then, stronger. “No. I’ve never had the type of all-consuming reaction described by the Council. I mean, I’ve had…”
I let the sentence trail off. Her cheeks flush. Naomi hiccups a small cry, and Brielle reaches back to run her finger along the baby’s cheek.
“Obviously you’re attracted to him,” she says. Yeah, the fact that vanilla is still pulsing out from me makes that pretty obvious. “But it hasn’t been that primal need to drop everything and claim him otherwise nothing else in life will make sense? That’s how Caleb described it to me, how it impacted him as an Alpha.”
“Yeah, right. It’s not that extreme.” I tap my hands on the steering wheel. “Why?”
She shrugs. “Just wondering. If you were matches, it would take some of the guesswork out of what steps you’d feel like you should take.”
My laugh doesn’t sound all that happy. “Yeah, that’s true.”
The first sign signaling we’re getting close to Jackson flashes by us, and I ease into the left lane to pass a slow-moving semi full of cattle.
“It would also help alleviate the confusion you feel for not wanting to hold him at arm’s length,” she says after a long moment. “If he’s your match, it’s almost a get-out-of-jail-free card to explain the depth of what you’re feeling.”
I frown. “That’s… perceptive.”
Brielle’s giggle is happier than mine was, but not by much. “Yeah, well, it’s almost like I’ve lived something similar.”
I can’t help but scrunch my nose again. “Let’s not bring up the fact that you’re bonded to my brother.”
She laughs harder this time, and some of the exhaustion clinging to her since she had Naomi drops away. It makes me smile just a bit.
As I take the exit into Jackson that’ll lead us to the little boutique I’ve picked out for most of Penny’s birthday decorations, silence falls between us again.
“Sour-smelling cleaner?” she asks out of nowhere.
“I’m assuming it was a cleaner. But it was definitely sour.”
She frowns and purses her lips. Her conflict is obvious, but I don’t push her on it.
“Was your reaction stronger when you smelled him on Beau than when his scent’s been blocked, like today?” she asks.
Brielle twists in her seat and runs her finger down Naomi’s nose. It seems like something that’s more for her benefit than the baby’s, but I’m not going to be the one to call her out on it. Having survived pretty rough postpartum anxiety, I know all about having odd tics that help settle the worries.
“Yeah, it definitely was.”
Brielle’s frown gets deeper.
“What?”
She shakes her head, then clears her throat.
“Just because it’s the logical decision on paper doesn’t automatically mean it’s the right one for you,” she murmurs. She twists a strand of hair back into the messy bun at thenape of her neck and traces the bond mark behind her ear as she resettles into her seat. “Despite the Council’s PR campaigns the last thirty years trying to convince us all that the Matching process is the end-all, best way to find the people that will make you happiest, there’s not some perfect path. If you don’t want to keep your distance, then don’t. He’s only here for a few weeks, so you’ll need to come to some kind of middle ground regardless so he knows where everything stands when he goes back into the spotlight.”
I don’t say anything as I park in front of the little boutique and turn off the Jeep. Brielle arranges Naomi in her lap, letting her nurse. I lean my head back against the seat and run through my mental list, ignoring just how often I get distracted by the Omega bull rider. Brielle doesn’t say anything until she has Naomi nestled in a carrier.
“And if he actually does want me to keep my distance and just wants to be in Penny’s life without being tied to Beau and me? He’s gone off and made literal history with that championship win. No Omega had ever won the NBRA circuit. It’s what he’s always wanted. There’s no reason for him to want to stay in the middle-of-nowhere Wyoming when there’s so much more in the rodeo world waiting for him.”
There’s that fear again. I try and stab it down, but it only festers, spreading wider to avoid the killing blows.
“People change, and so do dreams,” Brielle whispers. “You don’t know that he wants to keep pressing and carving out more fame. It’s a lot of attention, and he’s an Omega. Some people are satisfied with one championship. There was that hockey player that retired a couple years ago after only winning the Cup once and arguably at the top of his career. People thought he was out of his mind, but he and his pack don’t seem to be unhappy.”
“You know hockey?”
She shakes her head. “Logan does.”
One of Faedra’s Alphas. That makes sense. He does some kind of athletic training work with one of the colleges in Denver.
