Page 63 of Guarding Over You
He dropped his head to hers and put a kiss on her forehead again. “You’re right. I know I’ve had patients die, but it’s normally after I’ve treated them. Could be days or weeks. It’s my job to patch them up and send them on, those serious ones. Even listening to the family members, loved ones, the questions, the tears, the fears. I have to be on my best. I have to be calm for them. And it’s not easy. Let me tell you. Sometimes it’s harder than working on the patient. But the one that hit me the hardest. The one that I still wonder if I could have done differently was over two years ago. My second day in the ER there.”
“Ouch. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a Saturday night. Not that late. Multiple stab wound coming in, one to the chest. He’d already lost a lot of blood. Young guy. Early twenties.”
She kept the shivers from her body. “Why was he stabbed?”
“Bar fight. I never found out the details. It didn’t matter. Sometimes not knowing the facts on the person makes it easier to treat.”
“You’d never judge, Blaze. I know that.”
“I won’t, but best not to put it to the test. The guy that shot my brother, he came in and I treated him the same as anyone else when deep down it wasn’t what I wanted to do as I fought to keep my brother from bleeding out on the table while the surgeon was rushing in.”
“And you did it,” she reminded him.
“I did. And this kid, that night I did the same. Stabbed in the aorta. I doubt that was the plan, but it happened. We found it, I clamped it, he’d crashed once on the table, but we brought him back, the surgeon came in and took over from there.”
“Sounds like it was a success on your end.”
“It felt that way until hours later. Maddy, she was in the room with me that night, before she was the charge nurse. She called to get an update on him and found out that he’d died on thetable. He’d lost too much blood and coded twice more. The last time they couldn’t bring him back.”
Arden’s throat tightened. “And you’ve been wondering if there was something more you could’ve done.”
“My second day here,” he murmured. “And yeah. I do. I still play it over in my head, every step. Some woman he was with screaming outside the doors covered in blood like she’d tried to help, the kid never gaining consciousness. But the thing is, I can’t see anything I’d change. Doesn’t make it sting any less though.”
She looked up at him, her voice soft but certain. “Have you told anyone else?”
“No.” His voice dropped low and almost raw. “And saying it out loud to you makes it hurt just a little bit less.”
She smiled faintly, her heart twisting. “That’s why I called you down here tonight. Because tellingyouabout my day does the same thing for me. That’s what I want, Blaze. Something real. Something that eases the weight a little. If that’s not what you want, I need to know.”
His arms tightened around her, his voice a rough whisper against her hair. “It’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for.”
20
HOW RUMORS START
“Hey,” Blaze said when he saw Arden late Monday morning. “I didn’t know you were in the ER.” He noticed her when he was changing patients.
“Actually,” she said, moving closer, “I really wasn’t. I was talking to someone in the waiting room while they waited for their father to be admitted, but thought if I walked through on my way back to my office I might catch sight of you.”
He lifted his eyes, saw Maddy watching but didn’t care all that much. “And you did.”
“Are you picking up more shifts this week before you come back on Saturday, or don’t you know yet? I thought you might have taken today off after the wedding yesterday.”
“Right now, no. Unless something happens, they are all covered and that’s fine with me. The wedding was done by six, and everything cleaned up by eight. We didn’t let Clay and Meredith do any of it, so I stayed to help there.”
He couldn’t explain how touching it was to see his grouchy older brother get tears in his eyes watching his bride walk toward him before they stated their vows.
Then it was a party for all. A relaxed environment because Clay was the least fancy person he knew, even though Meredith was all sunshine and rainbows.
And though he could have taken today off also, he just told himself he wouldn’t pick up extra this week.
He had a few things he needed to do in his place while he had the chance. Ash was going to come and help and he could visit with his youngest brother.
Arden dipped her head down, looked around and then back to him, her smile bright enough that his was matching it. “I won’t get to see you then if I sneak down.”
“You can sneak down after hours to say hi with Gracie.”
