Page 121 of Guarding Over You
“We’re going to find the truth. I know it. I want you to trust me.”
“I do. I didn’t think I’d ever trust another man again. But with you, it’s there. It’s been there from the beginning. The need you’ve got to protect me. To watch over and guard me and Gracie. That’s just a tiny fraction of it. The bigger section is the feelings here.”
Her hand was on her heart.
He threaded his fingers through hers and put her hand on his heart. “There, right there for me too. Everything you’ve said and more.”
She dropped her head to his chest. “I love you, Blaze. I hate this is happening not just for me, or you, but mainly for Gracie. I told myself I wouldn’t put her in harm’s way again and it’s killing me. I meankillingme it’s happening. My rationale says to put distance between us.”
That love that just filled him—what she expressed—it was slowly seeping out to a messy puddle on the concrete.
The cracks in his heart couldn’t be explained with those words, even though he understood them.
“If it’s what you think you need,” he forced himself to say. “But it’s not going to change how I feel about you.”
“That’s the thing. It’s not changing how I feel. And hearing those words was exactly what I needed. Whoever this person is, if it’s because of something I did, they aren’t stopping whether or not I’m with you. And if it’s for something you did, they will move onto someone else. Where does that change anything?”
“It doesn’t.”
“So for tonight, when I’m in your arms, I want it to be about us. Let’s lock the doors, let’s go to bed, and you can love me like I need you to.”
She slid off his lap and stood up, him following her to her room.
The house was locked behind them, she checked on Gracie quickly, then they locked her bedroom door.
“I need to shower,” she said. “I need to wash the day away. Let’s go in there.”
Another room. Another locked door.
With the water turned on, the sound would muffle any they made. It would let her feel free in her actions and motions and that was what she needed.
Maybe it was what he did also.
They stripped in silence. No reaching for the other. No gentle touches.
Nothing until they were behind the shower door, the water pelting his back, his arms reaching for her to pull her tight against his body, his mouth on hers.
“I’m on the pill,” she said. “If you’re okay with that.”
He lifted her in his arms. He wanted her to know he had her. That everything they had would always be okay for him.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, he probed for entrance and was granted. Just like that.
Easy. Quick. Welcoming.
Her mouth crushed his, his hips thrusting in tiny jerks forward and back.
There was no reason to rush. Nor a reason to draw it out.
It was going to happen the way it always did. When they were ready for it.
He moved Arden back against the tile wall, her nails marking his shoulders. Her inner muscles squeezed him tight.
The feel of skin to skin, her body opening for him, taking everything he had to give her.
Those were the feelings he needed in his life.
Not sex. Not even making love.
