Page 18 of The Secret Stalker
“But what about if I don’t feel this again with anyone else?”
“You will, I promise,” I say, reassuringly. “You just need a few jobs and weeks under your belt and everything will start sliding into place. You will get used to it and it will feel more like a job than falling in love every time. It just comes with experience. Don’t wait until next week to take another job, have a look tonight and see if there are any others you’re interested in. I have a Shibari one coming up and I love that one.”
“What’s Shibari?” asks Casey just before the waitress brings over our food. I answer as soon as she’s out of earshot.
“It’s intricate rope bondage. The word Shibari comes from Japan. The guy I usually see is a master at it. I put my trust wholly in him, tying me up in ways that are satisfying to him and me, that are safe because, ultimately, I really am putting my life in his hands. Never has he given me pause or any reason to retract that trust. If anything, I feel more emotionally bonded with him than with any other client I’ve ever worked with. He knows my body so well, I literally hand the power over to him to do as he pleases with my body and metres of long rope.”
“Are you not scared he might stop circulation or strangle you? Keep you tied up forever?”
That makes me smile. “It’s a risk, but a lot of jobs I have taken have also come with a risk. I have faith that the Clarendon doesn’t allow any psychopaths and so far I haven’tcome across any. In a way, the members are also putting their trust in me and the Clarendon to make sure I too am not a psycho.”
“Hmm, seems to me, you are more at risk.”
“I trust in the process. I haven’t been wrong yet. We all have to trust, the same as you and your client last night. I am assuming that despite your client being super fit, should you have wanted to, you could have held her down and taken away her ability to move also? She was putting her faith in the Clarendon, too. We have all signed up for the same thing. An exchange of pleasure for payment. I’m ok with that, are you?”
“I would literally pay to play with yesterday’s member again, so I have no intention of leaving unless it’s with her.”
“Casey…”
“Joking. I’m just pulling your chain. I’m getting paid to worship women and fuck them. Even if I was to tell my mates they wouldn’t believe me. Not as if I would, I signed the contract, I have no plans on spoiling what I got going on here.”
“You just need more time in this gig to see where you fit and how you feel. It does get easier. Will you book another job soon?”
“I will if there is one that looks like I can do it. That has been on my mind. What if I can’t perform and do what they want? Will they complain or have me fired?”
“Casey, what could you possibly do wrong?” I ask, taken aback by his question. Then I rephrase it. “Did you make the lady climax yesterday?”
“Yes,” he replies bashfully.
“Did she look sated and happy when you left her?”
“Yes…”
“Then have faith in that. The lady who booked you, she knew who you were, it says it on your profile.She knew what to expect, especially as the job was posted on the Green board. So have faith in that, in yourself, ok?”
“I will try. I need to get out of my head I think. I am going to take off on my bike this afternoon and see if I can get some K’s under my belt.”
“Sounds like a plan. You can always talk to me, you know. I know you have your own mentor but I’m happy to take on that role if you don’t feel comfortable talking with Felix. This job can get lonely if you don’t know who to share it with. I had been feeling like that myself recently and I hadn’t even realised. So it can get the best of us, even us old playmates who have been around the block a few times.”
I look back at Casey who finishes his Pepsi as I wipe my mouth with a serviette. He looks better and less jittery already. I look down at my watch, “I gotta go Case, I have some serious self care arranged for this afternoon. I have a head spa and facial.”
“A what?”
“Just as it sounds, but I’m not going to explain this one, this one you have to experience before you believe it. I will book us both in the next time I go, what do you say?”
“Well it has the word spa in it, so it can’t be too bad.”
“Exactly, that’s the spirit.” I laugh as we both stand and head out of the cafe. “Give me your phone,” I say, holding out my hand.
Frowning, but being a good sport, Casey puts his hand in his pocket and pulls it out. “Open the screen, I want to add my phone number, is that ok?”
“Thank you,” he says as his face unlocks his phone and he hands it over to me.
When I’ve added my contact details in, I hand the phone back to him. “Have a good afternoon Casey, stay safe on that thing,” I say as I point to the shiny black bike.
“Always. Enjoy your head spa, may your head feel spa-ed.”
“Spa-ed?” I frown and then laugh when it clicks.
