Page 59 of Dewpoint
He finally snickered and focused on his food, seeming lighter now that he’d gotten it out. “Come on, Sagan. I never believed Kole’s bullshit that you’d only been with him and were completely in love with him. Obviously, that wasn’t true and—you led your separate lives, and when he became a liability you got rid of him. He’s a tool who couldn’t be discrete.”
Wasthatwhat some people thought now? It was hard to keep it together. It really was.
“And to pick that bitch Elira?” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not being classist or elitist. I don’t care that she was an orphan or ward or whatever. She was justdumb.” He froze and gave me a sympathetic look. “Your parents were too busy and had so many wards. They were good people. They had to tune so much out. I’m not judging them.”
“But they caught on in the end,” I said honestly. “Mother realized not everyone could be set on the right path though she tried.”
“She was a wonderful woman like that,” he muttered, sounding genuine. “No one I know had an ill word for her. No one with any decency. I don’t mean what I say against them. They had other priorities over one self-important ward. It’s the people of the castle and even your father’s staff who fell for it. Let rumors swirl that you bullied the twat.
“That was unacceptable. That’s tarnished you and it’s outrageous that it ever took this long to be fixed.” He gave me a hard look. “I would never do that to you. I might not believe in love and see the reality of what this is and my options, but I believe mating is a partnership of respecting each other. You never let the other look bad.”
“You just don’t believe in being faithful,” I commented, proud when my voice was even.
He was quiet a few moments and we ate until he was ready. “I think you get one or the other, and I’d rather have theunderstanding we never make the other look bad than the lies of love and being faithful. I’ve never seen it work out, and ancients always even say they take others to their bed, so what’s the point of fighting it?”
I realized he had more to say and I waved him on with his fork. “I prefer to just have this out.”
He froze and then nodded. “And I appreciate that. That’s what I would like. Why dance around the situation we’re in?” He licked his lips and met my gaze. “I apologize. You’re right and I shouldn’t have played the games. It wasn’t even looking down on you. It’s what I know.”
“I’ll accept that, but forgive me for waiting to see the proof of it in the future.”
“Fair. I don’t tend to make the same mistakes though, so I’m confident we can keep this level of openness if you do as well,” he said easily. He cleared his throat and circled back. “It’s also that I don’t think my dragon will settle with the idea that I’m not allowed my freedom when you have multiple mates. I see that as a recipe for disaster.”
“I appreciate your candor.” I wasn’t sure what else to say and focused on my food.
It wasn’t until a few tense moments later that he stopped eating. “But you’re upset. This isn’t what you want?”
I finished my bite and set down my silverware before wiping my mouth and focusing on him. “I didn’t want any of this, Ayao. Starting with my parents dying. It’s been leaked our last words were in anger, so really I didn’t want that. No, this isn’t what I want and no, I don’t want a fake relationship where you have quiet affairs and I’m unloved.”
I’ve had enough of that.
“I’m sorry you see it that way,” he said honestly, and if that was all he said I would have accepted it and not been upset.
But he had to keep talking and fucking piss me off.
“Honestly though, it’s probably one of the best offers you’ll get given the corner you allowed yourself to be backed into. Most are coming to be prince and take you over. I have no desire for that, and I’ll be a shield from a lot of that and be a powerful ally even if my uncle is a pain in the ass.”
Fuck.
Him.
Hard.
And I honestly almost said that. I really did.
Instead, I said that I would think about it and what he said. That I hoped we could continue to be honest about where we were in the situation.
“You say that, but you’re holding back,” he called me out when I was finished and stood.
That was fair and I decided to drop my mask and let him see I was fuming.
“I deserve better than what you offered. You might be right about what is coming at me and what I will deal with, but all of you are not my only options, and I will turn all of you down if I need to instead of accepting such matings and terms. More than that, don’t you dare judge me for the corner Iallowedmyself to be backed into when you weren’t there.”
Something like desire filled his eyes. “And you doubt I could have done better. Plus, my family helped put you there.”
“Yes. To both even.” I nodded to him. “Welcome to my castle, Ayao. Good luck.” I snickered and walked off making it clear where I ranked him in all of it.
Asshole.
