Page 22 of Sterling Touch
A painfully long minute passes before he says, “I don’t know.”
While not a confession, it is an admission that touch bothers him.
“Is it me?” Because if it is, I’m willing to pass him to another therapist, like I’d mentioned during his first visit.
Cort shifts, rising up on his elbows and craning his neck to glance over his shoulder. His eyes catch on mine. “No, Vale. It isn’t you.” He turns his head away from me and stares at the wall in front of him. “It’s me.”
He offers no further explanation, and I lick my lips as he settles back into position so I can begin his massage session, concentrating on his left lat, while balancing the work on both sides.
“Did something happen?” I quietly ask, not expecting him to tell me his darkest secrets, but hoping that if he’ll open up a little bit, so I’d be better equipped to help him.
As I anticipated, he doesn’t answer, and I continue to work his muscles beneath the soft hum of calming music piped into the room.
“Can I askyoua question?” Cort finally says, breaking into my concentration on the magnificence of his back. Even that scar on his upper right shoulder blade is hot.
“Sure.” I smile to myself.
“Where’s Hudson’s dad?”
My hands falter in the rhythmic pressure I’d been applying on his lower back.
I don’t often talk about Hudson’s father. Not that he was a bad man, just an absentee one. He was one more misplaced hope for love mixed with a bottle of Tanqueray and a short vacation. There’s probably a love song written about such situations.
“He’s not in the picture,” I admit, pausing a second, deciding how much I’m willing to open myself up to Cort. “He didn’t exactly want to be a dad, but then he occasionally sends Hudson stuff.”
Ken never calls; he simply sends unmarked packages. He hit a few birthdays, missed the mark on a few others. I’ve toyedwith telling him to disappear completely because the grains of sand he gives Hudson don’t add up to a beach of warmth and affection. Most times, those pebbles are like that nasty pea inThe Princess and the Peafable. They disrupt Hudson’s life, making him wonder why his dad doesn’t want to come around.
Strangely, Ken also sends me gifts on Mother’s Day every year.
The sad truth is that I slept with Ken in hopes to get over the heartbreak of having sex with Cort.
Ken never demanded a paternity test, he simply asked not to be written on Hudson’s birth certificate. He never intended to be an involved father.Iam Hudson’s only parent. And I’m enough.
“He works on an oil rig, so he’s offshore for long stretches of time, and lives in Alabama when he’s on land.”
At least, that was his life twelve years ago during that dang girls’ trip to the Alabama shore after my friends all graduated from college and before I headed back to school for the final year of my physical therapy degree. I met a cute guy with a you-look-like-you-love-me smile, which simply meant he was open to a vacation fling, and I’d been young and foolish once again.
“Anyway, Hudson is my whole world, and I’m grateful to Stone for taking us in and giving me some time with Hudson when he was a baby.”
I’d gone back to school after that reckless summer, not having known yet that I was pregnant, and had Hudson three months before my graduation.
Zero stars. Do not recommend being a new mom and finishing college at the same time.
After graduation, I took a year off from job hunting and mothered my son. Like most of my life, it took a village in the beginning and Stone has always been the president of strength.
I glance at the back of Cort’s head, wondering what he thinks of me. Wondering also if he ever thinks about Stone andthe friendship they once had. How they were brothers from another mother, doing everything together from birth to age twenty-two. I’d worry mentioning my brother might upset Cort, but then I recall him walking away from me the other night when Clay and Knox entered Milton Roadhouse.
Definitely does not want to discuss my brothers.
Suddenly, I feel as if I’ve been rambling, telling him much more than he wanted to know.
Another set of awkward minutes follow my babbling, before Cort says, “I’m glad Stone was there to look after you.”
I’d scoff, but I know what he means. Stone’s been watching over me like a guardian angel since I was born, and even though he flew the coop for a few years, he came home when it didn’t seem like there was any other option for us. At least, not an option Stone was willing to let happen.
“Got another man in your life doing that now?”
I chuckle at the not-so-smooth transition to another topic. “Cortland Haven, are you asking if I have a boyfriend?”
