Page 71 of White Lights
“You have,” he says, his eyes the most potent blue they’ve ever been, “no idea how hard this is for me.”
Dez is running out of patience. It’s the second time he’s mind-fucked her, which means he’s past due on owing her an orgasm.
“I guess I’ll see you later,” she says.
She tries to leave but he takes her hand, which is annoying and also feels so good. His skin on hers. She closes her eyes.
“You don’t understand,” he says.
“You could explain.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Seriously?” Dez laughs. “I’m not going to fall in love with you. I don’t evenlikeyou. I justwantyou. Like I’ve never wanted anyone before.”
“That’s precisely how I feel about you.”
“You don’t like me either?”
“I want you,” he says in a low and sexy growl. “Like I’ve never wanted anyone before.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“There are … things about me you don’t know.”
“That sounds like a bunch of bullshit.”
“But it’s true.”
“Okay, well, I’m a good listener, especially during foreplay.” She doesn’t get why he’s making everything so serious.
“I’m sorry,” he says with new finality. Then he pushes past her, retracts her Lens, and rushes out like she’s contagious.
“WHAT ARE WE DOING, SIMON?” Dez asks later that night as the two of them trudge uphill in swirling snow, heading for the ski lift behind the dining hall. “I told you I’m never going back to that bar.”
“But it’s Friday night, and Villains is the only party on campus. You can’t permanently swear off the only social venue in the vicinity. Besides, Jet invited us. He said everyone’s going to be there.”
“Jet invitedyou,” Dez corrects him. Her own mentor, meanwhile, hadn’t breathed a word about this campus-wide soiree. Not when Dez had been in his arms in the data storage center abyss. Not when he was kissing the back of her neck inside her Lens.
Simon tightens the strings on the hood of his parka so that Dez can only see a two-inch radius around his nose. “Jet mentioned you by name. Said you missed the first Eye for an Eye meeting yesterday.”
“I was working on my film.”
“Well, you’re not working on your film tonight. You’re getting wasted with your favorite roommate.”
“I didn’t know Yael was coming,” Dez deadpans.
Simon bumps her with his shoulder. “Rafe will be there, too.”
“I see Rafe enough.”
“Ooh. Decode that tone for me.”
“A little goes a long way with him.”
Dez can still feel, in the dampness of her lace thong, how little Rafe had given her that afternoon. She’d had to make herself come, alone, again, twice, after he fled her Lens.
She wonders if it scares him how hot it is when they kiss. It definitely scares her. But she handles it by needing more of him. Whereas Rafe handles it by running away.
