Page 108 of Jessica Beam is a Hot Mess
Leo stops mid-walk and gives me an astounded look. ‘Wow. I had no idea. That’s fantastic.’
‘Yes,’ I say nobly. Leo is mega impressed by my good grace, my selflessness. ‘I’mpassionateabout charities.’
‘What charities do you aid?’ He takes hold of my hand and swings it as we walk past a young family having a picnic.
‘Uh . . . um . . .’ My brain scrambles frantically for an idea. My brain is shit. ‘Er . . . well . . . er . . . squirrels,’ I say slowly, nodding in a meaningful way.
Cockwaffle. Of all the amazing charities I could have said, why the fuck did I make one up.About squirrels.Stupid squirrel family that I thought was so cute before. I look backwards and throw the squirrels my withering glance. They are whizzing up a tree trunk and don’t even notice.
‘Squirrels?’ Leo repeats with the raise of a ginger eyebrow.
‘Oh yes,’ I say fervently, a vague feeling of panic beginning to circle my chest. I have no blummin’ clue where I’m going with this. ‘I, um, I think squirrels are very important to . . . er . . . to this life. People think they’re cute and that’s all there is to it. But squirrels . . . um . . . they don’t always have it easy.’
What am I saying?
‘No?’ Leo asks with a great deal of interest. ‘Why not?’
‘Well, squirrels need nuts, but . . . in the winter there’s too much snow and they can’t find the nuts. Our charity . . . well, we distribute bags of nuts so that the squirrels don’t go without.’
‘What is your charity called? I’ll make a donation.’
‘Thank you!’ I breathe. ‘It’s called . . . well . . . it’s called, erm . . . Squirrel’s . . . Nut . . . Sacks? Um, Squirrel’s Nut Sacks.’
I look across to Leo and see that he is politely stifling a laugh. I act nonchalant.
Fucking hell, why is my mind so disgusting. Why is nut sack the first nut-related thing that comes into my mind? I am so gross.
‘I must say, it sounds very niche,’ Leo says with an amused chuckle. ‘I had no clue that anything like that existed, but I suppose squirrels need advocates like any other woodland creature.’
‘They really do. It’s an issue very close to my heart.’
Leo gives me a sidelong smile. ‘You certainly are one of a kind, Lucille Darling.’
I grin faux shyly and twirl my parasol some more. And then, out of nowhere, Leo properly yanks me behind a big cherry tree. What is he doing? He pulls me close to him and stands very still. Is this it? Are we going to kiss now? Did my passion for squirrel welfare get him hot?
My heart starts to hammer in my chest. What is it playing at? I look up at Leo to see if he’s going to kiss me, but he’s peeking out behind the tree, an absolutely mortified look on his aristocratic face.
Frowning, I peep round the tree too and see a tall, statuesque woman with gorgeously highlighted blonde hair jogging down the path in designer sportswear with a cute little Yorkshire Terrier attached to a lead.
Leo moves us further round the tree and out of sight as the woman jogs past. When he spots her face, his expression of terror melts away.
‘Who’s that?’
Leo gives me a grimace. ‘It’s actually no one. I thought it was an ex, but I was mistaken.’
Ah. He thought it was an ex. No wonder he wants to hide. Did he think she was one of the many women he has fucked over? Chuh. And there I was getting all wibbly about the prospect of a kiss. I mentally punch myself in the face.
‘Oh,’ I say casually. ‘Why did you hide?’
Leo runs a hand over his stubble. ‘Yeah, that was really embarrassing of me, wasn’t it? Sorry about that. I . . .’ He trails off, looking uncomfortable.
‘You can tell me,’ I purr. Let’s see him wriggle out of this one. ‘You can tell me anything. Shall we sit down?’
I point to a nearby wooden bench. We head over to it and plonk down. Leo opens up the wine and pours out two paper cups.
‘I thought it was Katie, my ex-fiancée, ’ he says eventually, watching as she jogs off out of sight. ‘Ireallydidn’t want to her to spot me.’
Huh?
