Page 102 of Jessica Beam is a Hot Mess
‘OK,’ I say firmly, punching my fist down onto the duvet.
I am Jessica Beam – noble and true hunter of cruel, hard-hearted knobheads with really nice mouths.
‘And write,’ Valentina urges. ‘Write it all down for me. Everything. Write like the wind, my love!’
‘Yes. Will definitely write like the wind. Thanks, Valentina.’
‘It’s my pleasure. Keep me posted, duckling.’
‘Will do.’
‘And Jess?’
‘Yeah?’
Her voice goes kind of low and growly.
‘Annihilate that rat.’
‘Yep. Fo sho. I’ll do my best.’
Hanging up, I turn to Mr Belding, who’s languishing across the end of the bed.
‘What the fuck I got myself into?’ I ask him, raising my hands to the air.
He answers by licking his own butt.
‘You are of no use,’ I grumble, and head to the bathroom for a wee.
* * *
The weird nervous feeling I had last night has settled back in and I really need to clear my head. Nothing like a good top-secret run to do that.
I change into my running gear and sneak downstairs as quietly as I can. I know where all the creaky floorboards are now, so I hop and step over each one like I’m doing an Irish jig.
In the downstairs hall I bump into Peach coming out of the kitchen, wearing a long pale yellow dressing gown, hands clasped around a mug of coffee, corner of toast hanging from her mouth. Damn. I thought everyone was still in bed.
Peach gasps in surprise. ‘Jess, you’re up early! What’s happening? Is something wrong? Are you unwell again?’
Then she spots my lycra-wear and trainers and frowns.
‘You’re going running? But I thought Matilda told you not to run on account of your masculine calves.’
I roll my eyes and do some stretches, holding onto the stair banister for support. ‘My calves are awesome, OK, there’s nothing wrong with them. Running makes me feel better. Don’t tell her you saw me sneaking out, will you?’
‘You want me to keep your secret?’
‘Do you mind? Grandma will just be upset if she finds out, and she’s had no major meltdowns for two whole days now. It would be cool to keep it that way.’
‘Our first official secret,’ Peach almost whispers, smiling to herself. Then she puts her coffee cup down onto the side table and inhales through her nose. ‘Iwillkeep your secret, Jess. In fact, I’ll come with you on your run. I willparticipatein the deception.’
‘Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. I trust you.’
‘I would like to.’
‘But … I run alone. I run hard.’
‘You don’thaveto run alone any more,’ Peach says reasonably. ‘You have Lady P now. I will run with you. I’ll get changed right now. Meet you outside in five minutes.’
