Page 5 of Big Sexy Love
I hand her the takeaway coffee which she pounces upon as if it’s the uninvented medical treatment that will save her life. I’m pleased to see that Birdie’s cheeks are less pale today. Other than the drip in her arm, she looks completely normal in worn jeans, a soft wheat-coloured jumper and sparkly gold slippers. You’d have no idea she was sopoorly.
‘You look good!’ I say, wandering over to her bed and emptying the plastic bag of things I’ve brought with me. Nail polish in a daring crimson red that I know Birdie will love, a big bag of chocolate buttons, some of those Korean sheet face masks that make you look like something from a horror movie and a jigsaw puzzle I found in the hospitalgiftshop.
‘Thank you, my Brewster,’ Birdie says, immediately opening the buttons and offering me one. ‘Is that jigsaw puzzleforyou?’
‘No, it’sforus?’
‘You can fuck off if you think I’m doing a jigsawpuzzle.’
I blink. ‘Jigsaw puzzles are fun! Andtherapeutic.’
‘I agree.’ Birdie nods. ‘If you’re eighty. And livingin1973.’
I pick up the box and clasp it to my chest. I love a good jigsaw puzzle! All the pieces fit together exactly as they’re supposed to. You can’t lose at jigsaws! ‘This one is of a beautiful house! Look!’ I point at the picture on the front of the box. It’s a big detached country house surrounded by pretty flowers and magnificent trees. A bit like the house inAtonement.
‘It’s creepy as fuck. Look. The front door is abitopen.’
I squint at the picture on the box and see that she’s right. The front door of the houseisajar.
‘So? It’s probably ahotday.’
‘Or someone broke in and did a murder? I’m telling you, shit went down in that jigsaw house. I can just tell.’ She raises an eyebrow and munches down on another chocolatebutton.
I laugh. ‘Fine. It’s abitcreepy.’
Birdie shuffles in her chair, moving her slippered feet under her bum. She looks so elegant doing it. I could never sit cross-legged on a chair without looking all awkward and smooshed upwrong.
Instead I perch on Birdie’s hospital bed as we chat about what’s been going on with us in the few days since we last saw each other. If it was up to me, I’d visit her every day! But Birdie vetoed that on account of the fact that she doesn’t want me stuck in here as well as her. She’s thoughtful like that. We text multiple times a day, but there are always new things to discuss with best friends. At uni, we would spend all day together and then call each other in the evening to discuss what we were going to havefortea.
Birdie clutches her stomach and laughs loudly when I tell her about Donna’s shit candle quotes. I embellish the story and add a few made-up rubbish quotes for heramusement.
‘Live, Listen, Look, Laugh, Life, Love, Listen again!’ I say. ‘Enjoy life and love and dreams and live! In the rain! Also believe!’ I do a little impression of Donna as I joke around, looking faux contemplatively out of the window, a finger to my chin. Then I mime smelling a candle and put on an Italian accent. ‘Ooh, Mamma mia. This one smells like the most authenticlasagna!’
Birdie shrieks with mirth and, although I feel a bit mean about taking the mickey out of Donna, having Birdie be impressed with me, the sound of her laughter echoing around the room, is completelyworthit.
When she’s finally stopped giggling, Birdie finishes the last of her coffee and takes a deep breath. ‘So. Brewster. I have been thinking aboutaguy.’
‘Ooh, yes the doctor you texted me about!’ I rub my hands together. ‘What’s his name? What’s he like? Do you think he fancies you back? He obviouslywilldo.’
Just because I’m not interested in love affairs for myself, it doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing about Birdie’s (many) dalliances. She’s definitely more equipped than me to deal with the inevitable fallouts and heartbreaks from love and sex. Though after seeing it destroy my family, I do worry that one day she’ll fall too hard and it will break her. But it hasn’t happened yet. Emotionally, this girl is as strong as steel. But I guess knowing you’re going to die young will do thattoyou.
‘The doctor is hot,’ Birdie says. ‘His name is BJ. Not ideal, but I can get over that because his muscled arms are the size of legs and he’s got this Irish accent that gives me theflutters.’
‘Are you sure that’s not your arrhythmia?’ I askworriedly.
Birdie rolls her eyes. ‘My heart might be weak as shit but I know the difference between a medical palpitation and ahornyone.’
‘Fair enough,’ I say, wondering what on earth a horny palpitation feels like. It soundsterrible.
‘Anyway, the man I’m talking about is not Doctor BJ. I’ve been thinking about adifferentman.’
‘Oh!Who?’
Her big dark eyesmeetmine.
‘Chuck.’
‘Who?’
