Page 80 of One for the Road
“To wait a week for the rectal lining to heal and to visit a registered sex shop instead of shoving brittle materials up your arse.” He covered his mouth with a fist to swallow. “His wife said they were worried about bumping into people they knew, so I introduced them to the world of online shopping.”
I lost it. Laughter poured out of me. “Truly changing lives!”
He smiled until his cheeks crinkled. “It’s why I went into medicine.”
“Honestly, good for them. I couldn’t imagine a relationship like that.” I got more comfortable, stretching my legs out, crossing my ankles on the coffee table.
His fork paused mid-air, his eyes prisoner to my movement. I pretended not to notice, even as my pulse sped. He cleared his throat. “You want a cork up your arse?”
“No,” I said. “Well . . . I don’t know? Not a cork, obviously. But . . . I’ve never thought about wanting anything up my arse. My sex life with Cameron was . . .” I broke off, not sure where I was even going with this. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
I started to stand but Alistair caught my wrist, tugging me back down.
“Tell me.”
“Stale, I guess,” I said quickly, cheeks burning. At least that’s the word he’d used.
For me our sex life had always felt one-sided. Selfish.
A quick fumble beneath the sheets in the dark until he got off and I pretended to be satisfied because he was my first and I didn’t know any better. My hand – attached to the wrist Alistair still held – balled into a fist. “Later, I didn’t knowhow to ask for more without admitting I’d been unsatisfied for years. I’m twenty-eight, and I don’t really know what I’m into sexually.” That made me feel really silly. So did the vibrator still hidden in the closet.
I couldn’t look at him.
Out the corner of my eye, I watched his very strained forearm set his plate on the table. “Some people go their entire lives without figuring out what they’re into; youhave plenty of time.” His voice was hot and smoky, like the whisky I gulped down.
That must have been where I got the bravery from. From the whisky and the subtle looks we’d been throwing each other all evening. From the air of unfinished business that had been hanging between us since the food market.
“You’ve done it before?”
“Done what?”
I wasn’t even sure what I was asking.Anything other than missionary?“I don’t know . . . experimented? In the bedroom.”
He went absolutely still, like I’d sucked all the oxygen from the room. For a long, horrible minute, I thought he wasn’t going to answer, then his throat bobbed. “This feels like a trick question.”
“I can’t be curious?”
“You can be curious. Curiosity is” – another tight swallow – “good.”
“Have you ever spanked someone? I read it in a book once and—”It seemed hot, I couldn’t finish.
“Bloody hell.” He swiped a hand over his mouth. “Yes. Once.”
I tucked my feet beneath me, buying myself a moment to digest. “You liked it?”
He considered for a long moment. “I didn’tnotlike it. But kink isn’t something I require in a relationship. I think
Juniper preferred to be the spanker rather than the spankee.”
Fucking go, Juniper. I bet Callum was having an excellent time.
“And did you, y’know—” I trailed off, rolling my hand.
“Yes,” he admitted. I felt my eyes widen, and he laughed. “Why does that surprise you? You think I’d do something to a partner that I wasn’t willing to try myself?”
No. He wouldn’t.
“I don’t know, you’re just so . . . controlled.” He scowled. “Not in a bad way,” I added. I pictured him in the garden, building Lego with Teddy while she cried. “You don’t let people see past the façade often.”
