Page 22 of The Sweetheart
Nolan’s expression softened. Kai didn’t understand the emotions behind the look, but he was learning that it usually meant he’d get his way.
“Yeah, baby, I can do that. Maybe we’ll try something new on Friday.”
Kai’s stomach clenched, and he gripped Nolan’s hand a little tighter. Kai wasn’t ready to think about not seeing Nolan for five days. Was that weird? It couldn’t be normal to crave someone this much, this soon. It also didn’t change the fact that Nolan had work, and if he wasn’t going to take anything from Nolan, and follow Nolan’s rules too, he needed to find a source of income fast. He’d have to reach out to some of his contacts to see if they had anything they were willing to pay him to do, but he didn’t want to have to think about that right now.
Their food came quickly, huge portions that individually could have fed a family of four. Nolan wordlessly took his plate, cutting his chicken into bite-sized pieces. Kai scanned the tables around them to see if anyone noticed, feeling a little embarrassed but secretly pleased. Nobody paid them any mind, so Kai let himself enjoy the sensation of being cared for. When Katie had her Daddy cut her pancakes, Kai had been amused but now he understood. It was such a little thing, but there was something deeply pleasurable in having even your smallest needs met. It was also deeply arousing. Kai scooted his chair a little closer, wishing they’d taken a booth closer to the back of the restaurant. He wanted to cuddle into Nolan’s side, rub up against him, maybe slip under the table and suck on his cock. Nolan would probably never let him do that last one, but it was fun to think about nonetheless.
“How is it, baby?”
The chicken was delicious. Crunchy, cheesy, savoury goodness, and Kai was having a hard time not shovelling it into his face like a heathen. “Good. How’s yours?”
“You wanna try?”
Kai nodded, and Nolan raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yes, please.”
Nolan forked a bite and held it up to feed to Kai, who dutifully leaned forward to take it. It was good, but Kai thought the chicken parm might be better. He held up a bite for Nolan to try and Nolan took it wordlessly, agreeing with Kai’s assessment. He forked another piece from Kai’s plate, and Kai pushed it towards him. Nolan pushed it back without taking more.
“Think this is hard to make at home?”
“I don’t think so. Why don’t you look it up?” Nolan unlocked his phone and slid it over.
“You know, you should probably be more careful with who you just hand your phone to,” Kai grumbled, taking it and pulling up a new tab.
“I didn’t think you’d be able to look it up on your phone,” Nolan said, a note of amusement in his voice. “What’s the deal with that anyway?”
“No deal. It was the last birthday present my grandmother gave me.”
Nolan hummed with understanding. “I get the sentimental attachment.”
Kai had never really thought about it before, but now that he did, he felt like he needed to explain it more.
“Yeah. Sometimes I look at it and I still remember how excited she was to give it to me even though it wasn’t even brand new back then.” He stopped to think. “But it’s different. She died, and I didn’t really have anyone else or anything from when I was younger. I think it just helps me remember that it all really happened. Like if I didn’t have it, I’d convince myself thatthings have always been what they are now. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, it makes sense. It’s like an anchor to your past.”
That was exactly it. Having his phone made him remember a time when he’d been loved, when someone had made him feel like his life, his future, was full of possibilities. He remembered the times he and his grandmother had talked about his future. His lived reality was so far removed from everything she’d hoped for him. Maybe keeping his phone had kept that hope alive a little, or at least reminded him that it had once existed. Without it, he felt like it would have been so easy to get swept into the hurricane that his life had become, and all of that hope would have just been lost forever.
“What is it?” Nolan asked, watching Kai intently.
Kai shook his head and looked back at the phone in his hand. He didn’t know how to say any of these thoughts out loud. They were too fresh.
“You know, getting a new phone doesn’t take away from the importance of the old one.”
Kai shrugged. “Don’t really need it, you know? Just another thing to keep track of and have to pay for. I’m not really good at that stuff. Everyone who needs to find me usually just goes through Liam.” He shoved some food in his face as he continued to peruse Nolan’s phone. The ads on these recipe sites were so brutal. It was a struggle to even find the recipes at all.
“Oh yeah? Should I send your good night text to Liam tonight?” Kai’s eyes snapped to Nolan’s, immediately alarmed.
“Don’t ever let Liam have your phone number,” Kai said fiercely. The amusement slid from Nolan’s face.
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
“I’m serious. Don’t ever let him know anything about you.”
“Why?” Nolan asked.
Kai shook his head. He couldn’t explain about Liam. Liamwas his brother. They’d been through the worst shit together, but Liam didn’t do relationships and the only thing he cared about was family. Nolan was just someone to exploit. To use and then discard, and Kai didn’t want to do that to Nolan. It made him sick thinking about leaving Nolan worse off from having met him.
