Page 20 of The Sweetheart
“I knew you were going to be at the club, but I didn’t know that I was going to like you. Last night, I realized how much I like you, even though I know you deserve someone better than me. Someone who didn’t have to lie and steal and do all sorts of fucked up things to get by. I thought I could be with you and not do those things, but then you offered to buy me stuff and I lost itbecause I don’t want to use you. I just want to be with you. The way you told me we could be together yesterday.”
Nolan stared, his eyes raking over Kai’s face like he was checking for the truth. It felt like he was staring at Kai forever, and Kai just needed him to say something even if he was terrified of what that could be.
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
“I do.”
Kai scrambled up onto Nolan’s lap, the weight of everything he’d been carrying slipping from his shoulders and unleashing a dam he hadn’t known existed. He gripped Nolan’s shirt like he was trying to tether them together, holding on with everything he had as he ugly-cried into his neck, his body expelling all of his fear and anxiety the only way it could. Nolan’s arms went around him, working under his shirt to stroke his back while he held Kai tight against his chest. Kai didn’t know how long he stayed that way, crying like he had the first night he’d been on the streets alone—worse, because there was nothing silent about these tears. At long last, they slowed, and he could hear the soft shushing sounds Nolan was making as he tried to comfort him. When was the last time he’d been held like this? When had he last been this vulnerable? He couldn’t say he loved it, but it was a relief to just be. To not worry about having his guard up. To not worry about things he couldn’t say.
“Better?”
Kai nodded, weakly, but he was not ready to move. All of his limbs felt heavy and loose, and he was only barely aware of being semi-dressed. None of it mattered at all. Hell, he was perfectly happy to live out the rest of his existence right here without the weight of the world on him. The strong ridge of Nolan’s shoulder and the heat of his skin against Kai’s was all of the sustenance he needed.
Kai made a sound of protest when Nolan shifted him off of his lap and onto the couch. He tracked him as Nolan retrieved Kai’s pants and boxers. He handed them to Kai, then disappeared into the kitchen while Kai got dressed. When he came back, it was with tissues and a glass of water. Kai accepted both as Nolan took a seat beside him again, half-turned so that he could look at Kai. Kai didn’t like it. He felt exposed, facing him this way. He pulled his legs into his chest, making himself smaller, waiting for whatever was coming next.
“Kai, I’m not going to judge you for doing whatever you needed to survive, but I can’t be in a relationship with someone I can’t trust.”
Kai’s shoulders slumped, a crushing weight settling on his chest, a fresh round of tears welling in his eyes.
“I’m willing to forward you that trust, but the first time I get the sense that you’re not who you say you are, we’re done. Am I clear?”
Kai’s gaze snapped to Nolan. He was giving him a chance. Elation ripped through him.
“Yes!”
“Yes?” A small smile played at the corner of Nolan’s mouth.
“Yes, Daddy.”
Nolan hummed again. It was a sound that Kai was quickly becoming addicted to.
“Come here.”
Kai launched himself at Nolan, knocking him backwards and landing on top of him, making him laugh. Kai kissed him hard.
“Thank you,” he said, trying to infuse the depth of his gratitude and his relief into those two words.
“You want to be my good boy, right?”
“More than anything in the world.”
“I want that too, baby. I’m going to help you be the best boy.”
“I don’t want you to buy me things. I just want this. Can I have that?” Kai didn’t want to worry about whether or not he was using Nolan or if Nolan thought he was being used. The only way to do that was to remove the issue altogether.
Nolan frowned. “I don’t know if I can agree to not spoiling my boy occasionally. What if we agree that I can buy you the occasional treat for you to enjoy when we’re together?”
Kai thought about it. “Maybe I can earn them?”
Nolan’s eyebrows lifted, and Kai blushed.
“Not for, like, sex or whatever! I mean if I’m good or something.”
Nolan hummed, and Kai felt it rumble through his chest, perched on top of him as he was.
“I like that.” Nolan kissed him, and Kai’s lips clung to his. This time, Nolan deepened it, kissing him slow.
