Page 54 of Merciless Wager
He still had his hand on my throat, only dropping it when I tipped my head up to look at him. Those gray eyes revealed the fury of a storm at sea, and I almost felt like one of those small ships before it capsized and was never seen again.
It was exactly what this had always been. Zarren’s charm, or maybe it was seduction, had lured me in, and now I was caught in the waves. And while I’d always assumed there would be a lifeline, I was now forced to face the cold, hard truth. I was avessel lost at sea, and once I left this place... left his arms... I’d be swept away somewhere so dark I’d never be recovered.
Not my body... my heart... or my soul, all of which I had stupidly given this man.
“I never wanted to feel anything for you, Bellezza, but god help me because I did... I do...”
“If you care for me as you claim?—”
“Care?” he asked before chuckling sarcastically, then sobered up. Fire flared in those stormy depths, and the heat singed my face as he stared down into mine. “That word doesn't even begin to describe what I feel for you.”
“Which is?” When he didn’t respond by doing anything more than closing his eyes to me, I waited for them to reopen before adding, “What do you feel for me?”
“Goddamn it. Isn’t it obvious?”
I shook my head. “Every time I think I have you all figured out, you do something to change everything... You do something to make me question everything... Like why did you have to step in and save me from those men?”
“My family needed you for?—”
“Bullshit. You didn’t do it for them. You did it for me, and in doing so, you’ve ruined every fucking thing.”
And he had. If Zarren hadn’t done something so foolishly noble and unbelievably endearing, I would’ve disappeared into the woods and possibly be free right now. I’d hesitated, and every confusing emotion I’d had about him came to the surface.
“What are you talking about?” he asked as he stroked the side of my face.
Resisting the urge to turn my face into it, I squeezed my lids shut for a few seconds before reopening them. “I couldn’t let you sacrifice your life for mine, so I stayed. I gave up my freedom to save your fucking life.”
“I’d give up my life for you again,” he admitted.
“Then don’t let them take me.”
“I can give you almost anything but that, Bellezza.”
He sounded so genuine, which only hurt me more. I never thought it was possible to die from a broken heart, but with each word he spoke, another piece of my heart broke off, and the shattered remnants pierced everything around them.
“And I told you time and time again that you should’ve let me die.”
“I should’ve,” I said, but I knew I never would have. “As I’d desperately tried to stop the bleeding so you didn’t die, my entire future bled out instead. And I’d do it all over again because in those precarious moments, I realized that I liked you... That I cared about you... And that maybe I’d even fallen for?—”
“You should’ve fucking let me die!”he said more emphatically, causing me to back up until my backside hit the pool table. Grabbing one of the two cues, he brought it down hard right as his knee came up, breaking it in half. He brought the smooth end of one to my raised hands while pressing the rough, sharp edge to his chest. “Here’s your chance, just know it won’t change your fate... Or mine... So do it,” he urged as he stepped closer to it.
Using my free hand, I knocked it away, ignoring the loud clanging as it hit the floor. “I won’t because, unlike you, I want you to have a long and great life even if it isn’t with me. That’s what it means to care about someone more than yourself. What it means to love some?—”
His hand darted out, cutting me off mid-sentence. I almost expected him to grab me by the throat, but instead, he traced his calloused fingers over my chin, jaw, and bottom lip before he yanked me against his chest.
She was beautifully infuriating. An ethereal hellcat full of fury.
And right now, she was breathing heavily as she stared at me through a curtain of tears. I didn’t want to wipe them away, either. Instead, I wanted to draw them out, then drown in every last one. She claimed that I’d ruined her life by making her feel something for me. If so, what the hell did she think she had done to me?
Aurora was a genuinely beautiful person, inside and out. She’d always deserved more than a back-stabbing best friend and two-timing loser. And she had it all, especially with the parents who’d raised her and loved her so much. They were an example of what a parental figure should’ve been. They were the kindness to my great-grandfather’s cruelty.
I’m sure he was looking up at me right now from Hell, smirking over my weakness for Aurora. He’d always talked about how Kingston and Cillian had been poisoned by the venom from their women, and how I’d break the curse. He knewthe only things I would ever love were power, money, sex, and violence. And I had until I’d met her.
Her lips parted more as I plunged my thumb partially between them. Her breath also hitched in her throat as she looked up at me with such defiance. The longer I stared down at her, the harder I got. My cock was like a rod of steel, and it ached in such a way that the only thing that could alleviate the pain would be to bury myself balls deep inside of her.
Aurora eventually brought her hands to my head, then combed her dainty fingers through my hair before dropping them to my nape. She drew me closer to her, and I’d been unable to fight what this was between us. It was maddening... Consuming... But it felt so fucking right that a groan escaped as she rubbed her soft face against mine.
“It’ll always be only you,” I rasped against her flesh. My lips came down on her tear-stricken cheek, and I slowly licked the salty trail with my tongue. “I've never loved anyone before, and I never will love someone as much as I love you, Bellezza. Knowing this day was coming has been tearing me up inside because of all the things I have in my life, I can't have the one thing I want the most. The very thought of letting you go is pure hell. It’s torture.”
