Page 147 of Thorne
"I'm proud of you. You know that?"
"I know." She smiles at him. The smile that has no shadows in it. "You tell me every day."
"I'm going to keep telling you."
"That's okay. I like it."
Skye starts the procedure. Lily's hand tightens in mine. A small flinch as the IV goes in, as the machines begin their work. But she doesn't cry. She just watches the monitors with the same focus she brings to her math problems.
"The numbers are moving." She points to one of the screens. "What do they mean?"
"That's your heart rate." Skye adjusts something. "And that one's your oxygen level. And that one shows the extraction progress."
"Like a download bar?"
"Exactly like a download bar."
Lily watches the bar creep forward. 5%. 10%. 15%.
"Theodore wants to know if Phoenix senses this." Her voice is smaller now. "If it knows we're taking its pieces out."
I look at Thorne. He looks at me.
"Phoenix can't feel anything anymore." I choose my words carefully. "Remember the snake that eats its tail? The one Forest showed you?"
"The Ouroboros."
"Phoenix is like that now. It's so busy thinking in circles that it can't think about anything else. It doesn't know what we're doing. It doesn't know anything except the loop."
"Forever?"
"Forever."
Lily considers this. "That's sad. Being stuck thinking the same thing forever."
"It is sad." I don't lie to her. "But it was hurting people. Sometimes the only way to stop something from hurting people is to trap it somewhere it can't reach them."
"Like a time-out?"
"Like a permanent time-out. Yes."
The extraction bar climbs. 30%. 40%. 50%.
Lily's grip on my hand loosens. Her eyes are getting heavy. A mild sedative in the IV, Skye told us, to keep her calm through the final stages.
"Julianna?"
"Yeah, Lily-bug?"
"When I'm all cleaned out, will you still love me?"
The question hits somewhere below my ribs. Somewhere the baby isn't kicking.
"Why would you ask that?" I brush a stray curl behind her ear, my chest tight.
"Because." Her voice is drowsy now. Slurred at the edges. "You came to help because of the bad stuff. Because Phoenix was inside me. If the bad stuff is gone, maybe you won't need to stay."
I look at Thorne. His eyes are bright. His jaw is locked.
