Page 66 of My Dead Wife's Ex Will Do
Kelsey grins back. “Let’s do it.”
Greta steps out on the path, which the resort’s wedding coordinator has strewn with flower petals. I wait until she rounds the big tree that’s shielding us from the guests’ view, count to five, then Kelsey and I step forward.
This is it. My little girl is about to get married.
At the end of the path, under a small gazebo festooned with fairy lights and flower petals, Adrienne waits next to Victor. The light shining from Adrienne’s face when she sees Kelsey for the first time is blinding and feels a little like an intrusion to look at.
I shift my gaze to Victor. He’s wearing a rainbow stole draped over his shoulders, with the alpha and omega symbols embroidered in gold thread and gold tassels dangling from the stole’s ends. His eyes meet mine and it almost feels like I’m walking down the aisle to him, rather than walking my daughter down the aisle to meet her beloved.
Silas and Logan, Kelsey’s college friends, and a couple other friends of Adrienne’s are gathered in a semi-circle on either side of the aisle. We reach the gazebo and climb the couple of steps, then stop in front of Victor and Adrienne. I turn to Kelsey. “I love you, sweetie.”
She smiles at me. “I love you, too, Dad.” I kiss her cheek, take her hand from under my elbow, and reach for Adrienne’s hand. I place Kelsey’s hand in Adrienne’s, lean forward, and kiss Adrienne’s cheek, too. Then I step back and take a place next to Logan.
Thirty-Two
Jason
Victor clears his throat and begins. “Friends, dear ones, we’re gathered here to witness Kelsey and Adrienne exchange vows that lead them to the next stage of their life together. Marriage is more than the next phase of adulting. It’s more than a logical step to take when you’ve been together for a while. And it’s more than just a commitment to the person you love. It’s a practice, like yoga or meditation, of the same actions taken over and over, daily, with intention and love and dedication to yourself, your spouse, and your relationship.
“Look to models of successful marriages that you know. We wish that Adrienne’s parents could be here with us in person, but we include them by thinking about them and talking about how they contribute to Adrienne and Kelsey’s future life together. I talked with them before we all arrived here and asked them what advice they’d give their daughter about marriage.
“Adrienne’s mother, Betsy, told me that the secret to their long, happy marriage has been their weekly date night. Every Friday, Chester and Betsy do something together. When they were younger and had less money, it might be a picnic in a park with some fruit and cheese and a cheap bottle of wine. When they were in the throes of caring for Adrienne when she was a baby and refused to sleep through the night, they’d stay home and rent movies so they could pause the flick when Adrienne needed to be fed. It wasn’t so much what they did together, it was that they carved out that time to be together. And committed to it, even when it was inconvenient, or they were busy, or tired.
“And when I asked Adrienne’s father, Chester, what he thought their secret was, he said ‘doing the goddamn dishes like a man.’”
There’s a wave of chuckles among the gathered witnesses. Adrienne’s dad is a retired Marine colonel and a gruff, no-nonsense man who’s reticent in speech but rarely holds back when he does talk.
“Chester modeled for Adrienne how spouses share in household chores and how the business of making a home is something to do together, with both partners pulling equal weight.
“Kelsey, you, too, have a model of a successful marriage. Even though we lost your mother far too soon, she and Jason had a near-perfect marriage. It’s not that they never argued or disagreed about things, it’s that they never let those arguments or disagreements interfere with their love for each other. I asked your mother years ago what made their marriage so successful and she said it was two things.”
Our eyes meet over the heads of the couple standing before Victor. I remember this conversation. It was shortly after Leah was diagnosed, before we knew how far the cancer had spread, and how little time she had left. I wasn’t part of the conversation; I’d gone to the kitchen to fetch a bottle of wine and some snacks. Leah and Victor were sitting on the back deck together, talking in low voices. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but the kitchen window was open and something about the way they were talking made me think they needed a little time together.
It wasn’t the first time I’d felt left out of their relationship, but it might have been the first time that I didn’t resent it. I knew Leah would need both of us, for different purposes, while she battled the cancer that ultimately took her, so I stayed where I was and only made enough noise to announce my reentry onto the deck when I thought they were finished.
“Leah said the first thing was communication. Talking about his feelings doesn’t come a hundred percent naturally to your stepdad.”
Another wave of chuckles, accompanied by a handful of sympathetic looks, especially from Logan and Silas. “Thanks a lot,” I mutter. Victor winks at me, and Kelsey blows me a kiss.
“But he worked hard at it, for your mom. They made sure they talked about things, even hard or uncomfortable things. It didn’t make letting her go any easier, but it made the aftermath of her death more bearable. They had a plan for how life would go on after her and they both knew they’d never missed an opportunity to tell each other how much they’d loved each other.”
My throat tightens and I close my eyes against the tears that threaten to fall. It was true. The one regret I’ve never had since Leah died is that I didn’t say I love you enough. I said it to her every day, multiple times a day, before and after she got sick.
“The second thing Leah said was key to her successful marriage was affection. A healthy sex life is important.” Another wave of titters and both Kelsey and Adrienne blush a little and look down, then sneak quick looks at each other. Victor doesn’t look in my direction at all.
“But even more important are the little, tender things you do to show your spouse how much you love her. Kisses, hugs, holding hands—touches that aren’t sexual at all—it’s these little things that tell your spouse that she’s the one for you.”
Does he remember last night when I simply held him and ran my fingers up and down his skin? I thought he’d fallen asleep and I admit that I’d maybe gone a little overboard touching him. But he hadn’t seemed to notice and it was so nice to touch someone again.
Victor pauses and now he does look at me. Our eyes meet and his lips lift in a small, secret smile. Just for me. So he does remember.
He turns his attention back to Adrienne and Kelsey. “Learn from relationships that haven’t been as successful, too. We all have friends or family members who are good people, yet they divorce or break up with their partner. Without casting blame or intruding into something that’s none of your business, see if you can pinpoint where you might do things differently. Complacency can lead to indifference. Dishonesty can lead to infidelity. Find the challenges that accompany any relationship and think—really think—about what you can do, together and individually, to work around or through those challenges and keep them from becoming insurmountable.
“When things seem dark, look back on this day and how happy you are at the cusp of your wedded life. Reach out to your friends and family—those present and those who would have loved to be here with you—and seek help. We—” Victor spreads his arms wide, encompassing everyone surrounding our daughters, “your friends and family, here and at home, will always be here for you both.”
There’s a spontaneous round of applause. It starts with Logan, Silas quickly picks it up, and soon, everyone is clapping their agreement to not only witness this marriage, but shore it up when necessary. I dash a tear from my cheek with my thumb, then add my own applause.
Kelsey and Adrienne turn slightly to face their audience. They both smile at everyone and Adrienne lets go of one of Kelsey’s hands to touch her own eye with the tip of her pinky finger. Kelsey’s just letting her tears drip, making shiny tracks through her makeup. When they turn back to face Victor, he hands her a tissue from his suit jacket pocket and she delicately pats her tears dry, then folds the tissue and hands it back to him.
