Page 37 of My Dead Wife's Ex Will Do
“I’m fine.” My legs are rubbery, but I’m fine. “Just need a minute.”
She stops in front of me, her hands gripping my upper arms, and for the first time today, she actually looks at me. Her eyes—Victor’s eyes—are bright with unshed tears.
“Dad…”
“I’m okay, honey. I’m right here.”
“Jesus, Dad.” She blows out a shaky breath, then pulls me into a hug. Fierce and tight, the way she used to hug me when she was small and had nightmares.
I hold her and wait for her to pull away first.
When she does, she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “Okay,” she says, more to herself than to me. “Okay.”
She doesn’t say anything else. She just pivots on her heel, her back to me again. “Waterfall’s just ahead, right?”
Guess I’m not forgiven for Victor yet.
Logan steps up next to me. “Do you want to head back?” he asks quietly. “Maybe enough nature for today?”
“No,” I say, my eyes still on Kelsey’s back. “We’ve come this far. Besides, what are the odds of seeing another fer-de-lance, right, Fabio?”
Logan looks between me and Kelsey, clearly sensing some undercurrent but doesn’t ask for an explanation. Fabio looks shaken, too, but doesn’t object to continuing. He does tell us in answer to a question from Logan, that no, the fer-de-lance is not more scared of us than we are of it. It’s aggressive and not at all afraid of humans. And that one was probably a baby. I didn’t clock its length myself—I was a little busy trying not to get bitten—but Fabio says it was probably around eighteen inches and they can grow to eight feet.
But he points out that we’re all wearing sturdy calf-length rubber boots and mentions that the introduction of rubber boots resulted in a dramatic decrease in the incidence of fer-de-lance snake bites among Costa Rica’s indigenous population. Then he tells us that he stopped leading the night hikes at our resort because he was nearly bit by a fer-de-lance during one.
Note to self: pass on the night hikes offered by our resort.
We continue hiking and come to a suspension bridge that spans a deep ravine. The forest wraps around us like a living thing. I pause in the middle of the bridge and brace both hands on the railing. Below me, through breaks in the mist, I catch glimpses of the forest floor. Giant ferns unfurl like green umbrellas and fallen logs are carpeted in various shades of green mosses. The bridge sways gently with the steps of the group crossing ahead of me.
I have never outright lied to my daughter before. She had no idea about that first time with Victor because she was asleep. A girl who’d just lost her mother, tucked into bed with the stuffed octopus Leah gave her right before she started chemo. She didn’t know what happened on the living room floor after we dried her tears and said goodnight.
And there’s nothing really to tell now. Whatever’s happening between Victor and me is temporary. A vacation fling. Don’t people get romantic at weddings? That’s all this is.
When we go back to New York, it’ll be over. I’ll go back to my job at Saint Sebastian, Victor will go back to his life, and everything will be normal again.
Quiet.
Calm.
Safe.
Maybe a little boring. But that’s the life I have.
I grip the cable railing and make myself keep walking.
Nineteen
Victor
I slip into the pool and head to where Adrienne is standing about waist-deep. She’s on the tall side for a woman, but still shorter than me, so the water barely hits my hips.
“So,” she starts. “Kelsey knows about you and Jason.”
The pool is heated but I go cold anyway. “Uh…” I don’t even know what the hell to say. “What does she think she knows?”
I’m stalling and Adrienne levels me with a look. She does not suffer fools, and while I’ve always thought she’s a great foil to Kelsey’s sunny cheerfulness, I still find her a little intimidating.
“She knows what two people having sex—really loudly, apparently—sounds like, and unless the two of you are renting your cabin out for other resort guests to fuck in, she knows that it was you and Jason.”
