Page 80 of So I'll Know
Something cold lands in my eye, and I blink up at the darkened sky just as snow starts to fall. I scrub a hand across my face, probably smearing my eyeliner, and text Marion that I’m feeling sick and can’t make it.
But the glutton for punishment that I am, I still can’t seem to move.
Marcus pulls back with a chuckle and reaches for his wine glass, bringing it to his lips. He freezes mid-drink, and I realize that he’s noticed me. I finally force a deep breath into my lungs and take off in the direction I came, panic fueling my red Converse.
“Jeremy!” I hear the deep tenor of his voice, and I want to stop so badly, but I just keep running. “Jeremy, wait!”
He’s going to leave you. He’ll leave you for her. She’s beautiful, and life with her would be easy. Effortless. You’re too difficult. Too queer. Too much.
I round a corner, pushing through throngs of pedestrians loitering at a bus stop. Unfortunately for me, Marcus’s legs are much longer than mine, and he actually does cardio for fun, so I slow in defeat as his heavy footsteps echo directly behind me. Istep into a parking garage just as he grabs my elbow. The heat of his hand is fire licking my skin.
I rip free of his grip and turn on him like a cornered animal, my teeth bared.
Marcus takes a step back, his hands raising and his eyes widening in surprise. “It’s not what it looks like?—”
I burst out laughing. “You’re full of shit, Marcus Conner.”
Marcus gives me a funny look. Probably because I sound completely unhinged. “You’re obviously upset.”
“You think?” I sneer.
“Please let me explain, Jer.”
Despite the way I want to listen, being rational isn’t really on my to-do list right now. I raise my hand. “Save it, Marcus. You got what you wanted. You had your fun on the down-low with a guy.”
Marcus’s face falls. “What? No, Jer. It’s business.”
My eyes widen. “Like a prostitute?” I yell. I notice the couple walking by is staring, so I lower my voice. “Are you kidding me?”
“Not that kind of business.”
“You two looked super professional, let me tell you. How long have you been seeing her?”
He rubs his hand down his face, his fingers pressing so hard that his skin reddens. “Can you just stop and listen?”
I step back. “Now you can have your perfect little hetero life with a wife and kids and a fucking dog.”
His whole body stiffens, and he has the audacity to look hurt while my stupid heart has cracked open and is bleeding out on the sidewalk between us.
I push past him. “I knew this was too good to be true. And to think that I was going to give you a key to my apartment.”
Marcus catches my arm in a bruising grip, pulling me back in front of him. I’m crying big time, and my face is probably all gross and red and splotchy. I’m a seriously ugly crier.
When I keep my gaze down, Marcus pinches my chin between his fingers and forces me to look into his eyes, which have darkened like damp leaves in the gutter. “I don’t want a dog,” he growls. “I want a bratty boyfriend and a mouthy fucking cat.”
My lips part, and I sniff, trying to pull some snot back into my nose before he sees it. “Boyfriend?”
He swallows, his throat moving slowly, and nods. When he exhales, his breath smells like red wine, and it just reminds me of that beautiful woman. I can’t hide in his grip, so I squeeze my eyes closed. “I don’t understand.” I hate the way my voice comes out small and shaky. “You’re not cheating on me?”
Marcus’s grip on my chin loosens, and he glances around. He takes my wrist and pushes me against the wall so that we’re hidden from the busy sidewalk. Then he steps into my space and threads his fingers into my hair, tipping my head back.
“Do you think I would cheat on you?”
I hesitate but finally shake my head, blinking moisture from my eyes. His grip on my scalp tightens, the sting of pain raising goosebumps on my neck. “I’m in this so fucking deep, Jeremy, and if I’m gonna fuck this up,” he gives me a lopsided smile, “and I probably will, it won’t be because I stuck my dick where it didn’t belong.”
He drops his mouth to mine, the kiss hard and possessive as he invades every inch of my mouth, and I melt into him, taking it all. The tang of alcohol on his tongue mixes with the salty bite of my own tears, and I moan involuntarily, my hands landing on Marcus’s ass. The expensive fabric of his pants slides beneath my fingers, and my cock hardens painfully in my tight jeans.
When we pull apart, we’re panting, our breaths making a halo of white around our heads in the frigid air. “I’m going to go finish mybusinessdinner, and then I’m coming over, and I’m going to explain everything, and then I’m going to strip younaked, get on my knees, and show you that you’re all I fucking want. That you’remine. Got it?”
