Page 29 of Disarm
He doesn’t answer. He just presses his forehead against mine, and we breathe together until the moment steadies again.
Later,after we’ve packed all the meals up, we eat on the couch, the TV flickering some mindless horror movie that neither of us are paying attention to. He sits with his legs draped over mine, his hair still damp from the shower, his skin smelling faintly like my body wash.
I can’t stop touching him—small, tender, barely there brushes. My fingers on his knee. My palm against his ribs. Just enough to keep him anchored, to always remind him he’s safe.
“Hey,” I say, breaking the silence. “You ever been up to the redwoods past Big Sur?”
He shakes his head, eyes half-closed. “No. Why?”
“I was thinking we could go up there. There’s this place, a treehouse Airbnb kind of thing. Big deck, hot tub, ocean view.”
He opens one eye. “That sounds expensive.”
“Already looked. Not bad if we split it.”
He smiles faintly. “You mean if you pay and I pretend to.”
“Exactly.”
Caleb chuckles under his breath, then quiets. “You really think we could get away with that? Just… disappear for a few days?”
“I think we deserve to. That you deserve to relax.”
I pause, tracing slow circles on his thigh. “I could bring the mask.”
He tilts his head, and I see the flicker of something dark and hungry in his expression. “You think I could handle that again?”
“I think you could handle anything with me there.”
He blushes, voice quiet. “You’re too sure of me.”
“I’ve never been more sure of anyone.”
He looks at me then—reallylooks—and everything else fades. The couch, the plates with the remnants of the tostadas on the coffee table, the low hum of the heater kicking on.
“Miggy…” he starts, voice small.
“Hmm?”
He swallows hard. “What… what are we, really?”
The question lands between us like a live wire.
My heart thuds in my chest. This is not where I saw today heading, but fuck it. “We’re us,” I say. “Whatever that looks like.”
He frowns, not satisfied. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” I admit. “I do.”
And I don’t plan this next part, it just slips out, heavy and way too fucking honest.
“I see you as my partner, Caleb. You’re it for me. Maybe one day you’ll feel safe enough to think about being my husband.”
Silence.
His face goes blank—no anger, no joy, just shock.
Fuck.
